Just the little things

Seriously not again

The next day after all the emotion filled day. I wore sweats, expressing how I really don't care anymore.

First period with him. I can do this, I will act like I don't care. I walk in class, almost tardy.

He looks at me, eff you. Wait don't be jealous. I groan.

My strides are shorter, making me walk faster, then I sit with my friend, and we just start to talk.

He glances at me again. STOP IT.

Fifth period comes. He sits next to my right, like always. I take my assigned iPad and do what the classwork is. I feel something on my right side. I can feel him looking at me, he was doing nothing and I looked down and saw his feet pointed toward, well no duh, of course because hes sitting on my right, his feet have nowhere else to point. I can just feel him looking at me, and here comes the stupid butterflies. I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY.

This isn't how im suppose to be acting. This is exactly the reason why i don't like people. 

I go for the bad boy type, he's opposite. Do opposites really attract? Because if they do, i'm screwed.

My gut, it tells me, i have hope, i have a chance, i just have to get to know him, talk to him, be his friend. 

Sure, BUT IT'S NOT EASY. 

I shake when im near him

i'm so weak, that i can barely move my lips.

It's all his fault

and its sad to know because.. all these feelings will probably stay hidden from him. 

STOP LOOKING AT ME!

I can't..i really can't. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

I really need this day to go by fast.

Finally its the end of school.

I'm in the car with my father and dog. We caught a red light, so he stopped the van. I look to my right, i see him. He's with two of his friend, i know one because me and him use to talk last year, he was really funny but awkward. WHY HIM WHY NOW. 

I kept looking at him till he saw me, damn it. Red light you better turn green.

Then the crosswalk light went on and they started walking towards the car. JUST MY FREAKING LUCK.

My breath started to stop, i saw him and his friends looking at me. His friend recongized me and he started to wave, and wave, and wave, this is how he is though, so i just mimcked his movement, and just looked at him trying to distract myself from looking at "him". They soon were passing my car, can they walk any slower. His friend was still waving at me. I saw them look into my van, and look around my surroundings, and my dog barking at them. NO STOP LOOKING INTO MY VAN, DON'T LOOK AT MY DAD, DONT LOOK AT MY DOG, AND DONT LOOK AT ME PLEASE JUST STOP. I can't like you.

They all finally left and went their seperate way, its gave me a chance to look at "him". so i did. He was combing the back of his hair, why does he keep doing that, his hair barely even moves.

Why does he do that.

I found out from my friend that the girl he was with likes another guy, relief came to me, but what if he liked her.

I suck at this relationship thing I suck at even talking to the guy I really like.