It gets better.. right?

Monday morning

I wake up to the sound of my alarm. I turn it off and sit up. My eyes still poofy from the night before. I try to blank it all out and get up to change. I go to the bathroom, wash my face, brush my teeth and come back to my room. The house is silent so I put on some some songs, Bring Me The Horizon of course. 'Seen it all before'. I go up to my cuboard, my uniform is neatly piled at the side by my mum. I'm stood infront of the mirror when i'm putting them on. When I see 4 red lines on my thigh and it all comes back. The bad news, crying and hurting myself. I look at myelf up and down, then put the rest of my uniform on. I do my makeup for half an hour and I hear a little knock at my door. It's my brother.

"What?"

"Can I have a cuddle Katie?"

"Of course you can". He comes over to me and sits on my lap. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight.

"I don't wan't mummy to go, Katie". This hits me hard and I feel tears welling up.

"Me neither Simon, but for now we can spend time together all the time and love her till she has to go yeah?"

"Okayy".

He stands up and gives me a light kiss on my forehead and walks out my room, shutting the door behind him. I turn back to my mirror and a tear rolls down my face. I love my brother so much and my mum. What am I going to do when my mum's gone.

I'm interupted by a text from AJ.

** TEXT MESSAGE **

AJ - Hey! You walking? :)xxx

Me - Yeah, meet for half 8 xxx

** END OF TEXT MESSAGE **

I go downstairs and grab a breakfast bar from the cuboard and leave. I put in my earphones and play 'Bastille - Overjoyed'. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that's happened. Including Jacob. How could I waste my life away at parties, drinking and crying over boys who don't give a shit about me when I'm losing my mother. The one that's brought me up and cared for me my whole life.

When I turn the corner I spot AJ and give her a wave. When I reach her she can see the tears in my eyes.

"What's wrong Katie?"

"Everything" I reply. My eyes tearing up to the point that I can't see.

"Tell me, what's happened?" she insists. I spill everything. The party, Jacob and my mum. Except for one thing.

She gives me a long hug and wipes my tears. I love my bestfriends, they care for me so much. We walk to school slowly. When we finally reach school we go straight to form and sit down. Get out our phones and scroll down tumblr. Hundreds of depressing gifs and images roll past my eyes. Each one relating perfectly to my life, but I keep quiet.

The day goes by slowly. I end up seeing Jacob a couple times but I just look away. As soon as school finished I text !Mia and AJ telling them I'm getting picked up so I can't walk but I lied. I walk out of school quickly and turn onto another road leading to the large centre park. It's nice there. It makes me calm and blank out my problems. I don't realise that i've been here an hour, just walking around when I get a call from my mum. She asks me where I am and I tell her I'm on my way back. The phone call ends and I'm sad again. All I want to do is freeze time and hold my mum forever.

It's dark on my way back, I used to be scared when it was dark outside but now I'm not. I like the dark. It seems to be calm and quiet. As I'm walking down my street I notice a group of thugs in hoodies a few yards behind me, shouting and laughing among themselves. One of them spots me looking so I quickly turn. I can hear them now shouting at me. I feel really scared. I start walking faster. Then I hear running and I turn to see them sprinting towards me. My heart races and I sprint down the path. I can see my house and the lights are off. Oh god please let the door be open. I run even faster so it gives me a split second more to open the door. I turn again and they're getting closer, one of them shouting 'let's have her to ourselves'. It hits me what they are gunna do if they get me and tears rush down my cheeks. I'm finally at my house, I run up the drive and burst through the door, shutting behind me, locking it and turning the key so no other key from the outside can open it. I run around the living room and kitchen shutting all the windows closing all the curtains.

I hear a banging at the door. I run to the kitchen and grab a huge knife. I quietly run up the stairs and look through the split of my curtain. No one's there. My heart is beating even faster. I start to wonder where the fuck my mum and brother are. I go to their rooms but they aren't there. Then I remember I didn't lock the back door. I run down the stairs and peek round the corner of the stair case. The worst time to have huge french doors. I get the key from the draws and run over to the door. I try to lock it but I always have trouble turning the key. Then I look up. A tall man wearing a hoody is stood right infront of the glass. Looking me in the eyes, giving me this foul grin. The key turns and the door locks. I shut the curtains and back away, picking up the knife from the table. My heart is racing. I pick up my phone and call 999. They tell me they'll be here as soon as they can but I'm still scared. For 5 minutes I'm sat on my sofa, still as a rock with a knife in my hand. Aware of everything. The clock ticking. The sound of the wind outside.

Then a knock at the door. The police are here and I tell them everything. They ask me where my parents are and I realise that I've forgotten to call her back and ask her where she is. I do end up calling her and I find out she's at my auntie's house again and that they'll be back soon. The policeman offers to stay till she comes but I say I should be okay.

After watching 2 films and having plenty of ice cream, my mum finally gets back with Simon. We all decide to sleep downstairs tonight with all the blankets and plenty of movies to watch. The whole night I spend snuggled up to my mum, capturing every second I spend. Every beat of her heart in her chest. I cry silently, without her noticing. It hurts alot trying to accept that she'll be gone soon. Before I fall in love properly, get married or have my own children. Then I fall asleep.

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That's chapter 4 done :) I'll start writing the 5th one soon, I hope you like it!