Presidential Authorities

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President America - Chapter 4

About to make his Inguoration speech, President America stepped up to the podium as he gulped so loud that the microphone picked up the disgusting sound and carried it to the ears of the crowd. Those who were well versed in politics knew for certain that this would be the worst speech in human history.

"So, Hey, I Love Yall like Kentucky Fried Chicken" muttered Prs. America, as if he had rehearsed the complicated line 50,000 times.

Prs. America's ego grew as big as a trumpet player's, when the croud cheered for his clever words. The media declared that Prs. America had made the shortest, yet most impactful speech since the Emancipation Proclamation. His speech was such a hit that it got its own # and its own snapchat filter (which turned your face into a piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken).

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A month later.....

Prs. America was living the life, chilling up in the white house, with his legs propped up on the priceless desk of the oval office. It was just splendid knowing national secrets! Learning about how 3,000 young children were abducted by the illuminati made him feel very authorative and it also made him hungry.
"JEEVES!" he yelled to his bodyguard, "Get me some Chinese food!"
The bodyguard agreed, solemly, and returned with a royal buffet straight from Chinese Emperor's own kitchen packed with delicacies too rare to be eaten by civilians.

President America saw the food and glared at his bodyguard with intense disapproval, "Jeeves, I told you to get CHINESE food, not this garbage!"

In a calm, monotone voice Jeeves said, "Sir, this food is most definitely Chinese."

"Oh, yeah?! Then where's the fortune cookie?!" exclaimed the furious President, throwing JFK's picture off his desk.

"Sir, this food is a gift from the Chinese Emperor, it is a peace offering," said Jeves, as robotic as ever.

"If he wanted peace, he shoulda given me a better offering!" the president whined like a nine-year-old brat, "Such an offense deserves revenge!" he declared, pulling open a secret compartment in his desk, reveling a glaringly red button with the word "NUKE!" written on it. He banged his fist on the button with all of his might. "Bye, bye China," he growled.

Even Jeves, who usually didn't question his boss, did a passionate hail mary.

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