FAKE

two

trigger warning: mentions of suicide

A wise man once sang that even if people changed, they would stay the same.

How odd it is he didn't live by his own words.

Er, lyrics.

I am determined to let him leave my mind as soon as he leaves my house and my life.

Maybe I should have known he wasn't really dead.

After all, Ross had never acted depressed.

He never was secretive or pushed people away.

Sure, over the years he got quieter as his thoughts became louder, but he was never unhappy.

The blazing memory of the letter adressed to me I found on his bed containing his so called 'suicide' is still fresh in my mind, as if it only happened minutes ago.

Dear Courtney,

I'm sorry. I just can't do it anymore. I want you to know that I love you, and I always will. And remember, just because I took this route, doesn't mean you have to. Please don't. I'd hate to see you hurting. The bridge over the river has become my best friend and enemy. I guess the only way to be gone was to say goodbye to it last. I doubt you'll make it in time, and I just rather you'd not. I know we'll see each other again soon.

R.S.L.

All I remember after that was running to the bridge in a blind hope that I could save him. I remember screaming at the water, leaning dangerously over the stone railing and his sister pulling me away so that I too would not meet his fate.

I was sobbing for months on end when ever he was mentioned or referenced to something.

Maybe he had tried to hint to me he wasn't really gone.

I know we'll see each other again soon.

That was just how he was.

A subtle hint in the note that I barely noticed because I was busy waiting for him to tell me he was fine.

And now that's he's here, I can't be any more angry then I am.

But the question that still plagues my mind has emerged once again.

Why go and do such a stupid and heart-wrenching thing?

Because he is hiding something.

Something that I need to find and hopefully expose him for.

So that's what I'll do.

I'm going to unwrap Ross Shor Lynch layer by layer and find his motive.

If he was in a situation bad enough that he had to pretend he died, it must have been something big.