FAKE

fifteen

Aria turns on the radio as soon as she starts driving. 

She sings along to everything. Even if she doesn't know the song, she still does her best to hum and follow the melody.

I can't help but crack a small smile. Her sunshiney self has resurfaced, and it's beginning to infect me too.

While I listen to her, I stare out the window. The trees rush and billboards rush by as we go down the highway.

We move so fast that the powerlines look like they're dipping and rising as they try to keep up with us.

Aria's singing slowly begins to fade out of my own perception.

I fixate myself on the road ahead. All I want to do is look ahead.

To never look back, just forward, towards the clouds with their faux silver linings.

I sigh softly and drum my fingers on the arm rest.

My eyelids grow a little heavy.

Having your heart ripped out is rather exhausting, and all the crying is starting to catch up to me. 

I prop my head up on my hand and close my eyes. Aria is still singing along to the radio, but I'm too tired to listen to her. While she continues on, I slowly nod off.

***

I wake up when Aria nudges my shoulder. 

"Hey," She starts to make sure I'm listening. "We're taking a quick stop if you need anything." I nod and yawn.

She gets out of the truck and leaves while I sit there. I yawn and glance out the window. We're at some old gas station right off a main road. 

I decide to take the chance to stretch my legs and get out of the car. 

Once I'm out, I end up walking a few laps around the truck. I turn around the corner of the truck and come to an abrupt stop. 

Ross is standing there in front of me, directly blocking my path.

"Can we talk?" He asks. His hands are clasped together in front of him and he looks almost guilty. I roll my eyes. 

"What is there to talk about? I heard you loud and clear. You don't need to officially confront me."

He shakes his head. "No, I-"

"I get it, okay? Keeping me happy kept you safe from secrets slipping,"

"What about keeping me happy?" He interrupts. "Court, I only said those things to get Adam off my back. He doesn't want me to get caught up with you and make a bad decision."

"So now I'm a bad decision?" I tighten my hands into fists.

"That's not what I'm saying. You are my best decision. I want to be with you... I really do." He gently takes my hands. 

I look down at our hands, and take a deep breath.

In one sharp movement, I pull my hands away from his. 

"I don't think I can believe you," I scoff.

"Why?" He frowns, and his hands retreat to the pockets of his jeans.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you lied to me for years, then ran away as dramatically as possible, then came back like everything could be perfectly normal. Not only that, you dragged my ass out here to begin with! I could be sitting at home right now, in blissful peace-" 

"You'd be sitting six feet under." He snaps. The anger is beginning to rise from his chest, and finally, I am getting the passionate reaction I had always wanted to spur from him. 

"Like you'd give a damn. You and Adam have both treated me like I'm some idiot that doesn't deserve to know what's going on or interfere!" 

"I couldn't tell you everything!" His eyes are beginning to blaze.

"Why not?" I laugh. That has to be the stupidest excuse that he'd ever given me.

"I cared about you! I wanted you to be safe!"

"Why would you care?" 

"Because I love you!" He retorts, his voice louder this time. The very words I had been aching to hear him say for so long had no resonance this time.

We glare at each other for a stretched moment before I finally break the silence. 

"Next time you go throwing around that phrase, try to mean it." I push past him and walk towards the front of the truck.

"Courtney!" He calls after me.

"Just shut up! I don't care about your sorry excuses!" I yell back as I get in the truck and slam the door.

I sulk in my seat for about ten minutes alone until Aria finally joins me.

"Is everything alright? Ross seemed to be in a bad mood when I got back."

I shake my head.

"Don't worry about it. He'll be fine."

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wow i haven't done an author's note in forever. anyways, just wanted to say thank you for 1.5k!!! omg!