A Court of Dreams and Nightmares

Chapter 4

Feyre

Lucien's russet eye shone with cunning and steel as he came closer, taking in my tussled hair, the slight blush of my cheeks and that faint glow that being with Rhys left on my skin.

He circled me, a predator herding its prey. Time seemed to move all too slow, as opposed to my time with Rhys. I saw his eyes widen as he came close enough to smell the bond, smell him on my skin.

Panic took hold of my mind, as I scrambled to figure a way out of this. Stupid, stupid, stupid, my mind whispered as I considered the risk that Rhys and I had taken. I should have known that Lucien would watch me, wait for me to make a mistake, especially considering our spat in the garden earlier. Was this it then? Had I gambled and lost? No, I could not give in. I would not allow myself to give up.

Power rippled beneath my skin, almost impossible to hold back. I wanted to lash out, to burn and rage. I wanted to see Lucien's confidence turn to fear as he realised the power I hid. I could feel the skin on my hands shifting, claws beginning to emerge. I guess being in the Spring Court made me more in tune with my shapeshifting power, just as my visit to the summer court had made wielding water easier. I relished the feeling, ready to pounce.

A blast of worry shot down the mating bond, stronger than ever. Rhys. He must have felt my panic and my rising bloodlust.

And with that, the raving power turned into a calm river flowing beneath my skin. I sent a soft caress back, hoping it would be enough and then shot him out entirely.

I added to my mental shields, while masking my scent with a glamour that should be strong enough to cover the mating bond - I hoped.

"What are you doing in my room?" The ice in my voice only put a mocking smile on his face.

"The more interesting question is; what were you doing out of it?" his voice was coated with sweet venom.

"I didn't realise I wasn't allowed to leave." I snapped, angling myself towards the wall, away from him.

"Where did you go?" His russet eye held my gaze as his golden, metal eye scanned the room for hints of my whereabouts.

"Does Tamlin know that you have taken it upon yourself to sneak into my room?" I deflected, trying to buy time for my scrambled thoughts to catch up and come up with an excuse that would throw him off track. If that was even possible.

He just gave me a feral smile, "where did you go, Feyre?"

So, no distractions then. I turned my back on Lucien, staring out the window. I could almost hear Cassian roaring at me, don't ever turn your back on your enemy, stupid. His training was deeply imbedded in me and I had to force myself to stay that way, my back exposed.

I mentally shook myself. I had to play my role perfectly. If it meant going back to a part of myself that I had left dead, Under the Mountain, so be it. As a human, I had hid my feelings behind snarky comments and viciousness when I arrived at the Spring Court. Lucien knew that. I had to balance the part of me that had made me snap at Lucien even as a human, and the meek female that they wished I were.

I let my shoulders slump, putting raw emotion into my voice.

"It has been... difficult to adjust. This house, this room... Tamlin's evasiveness and your mistrust. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like nothing has changed."

My voice dwindled, almost to a whisper. "You don't understand. None of you do. What I have done... What he made me do. Sometimes I cannot sort out what is real and what is not. What if I am evil? What if it was not just his hold on my mind that made me aim that arrow at you?"