I got up and realised that its one more day to the funeral and we had to go get things ready at the church.
I didn't want the realisation to become true of my dad being gone for real and never coming back to really sink in... It just feels like he is going to walk into the house any second...
But I know he is not and that makes me real sad. So my mom didn't want to go so I had to go. I went to the church and we got the right songs and everything ready for tomorrow.
I asked the sound guy to play this song that describes the love my parents had when I read my uligy... He agreed and I went home again.
To face the reality even more now, without my father even more. Befor I went home I decided to go to the local bar near my house to get a drink and forget about my father even more.
When I got at the bar the guy that owned it told me that he told the bar tender that the drinks I drink is all on him because he knows what I am going threw and won't think of stopping me.
I smiled and hugged him because he was my fathers best friend and we saw him every weekend at our house. Having a drink with my dad and barbaqueing with us.
I had like 3 drinks when he came out and gave me 3 shots to take with him. Just because we could. After that I told him that I had to go home to my mother.
He agreed and greeted me by saying that he hopes to see me more even though my father isin't there anymore. I hugged him and told him that I would see him tomorrow at the funeral and also asked him to give a uligy if he wanted to.
He agreed and walkes me to the car. I dorve home and got out of tjh car and went into the house. When I got in the house my mom made us dinner because he couldn't handel not doing anything.
I sat down and ate. My mother came out and asked me if I was alright and enjoying the food. I smiled and told her that it was amasing as always.
She smiled back and hugged me beause she knew it was a little burned but I loved her this much to lie a little about her food.
After I ate we sat on the couch preparing to watch my favorite movies of all time again...SAW... My mom fell asleep in the first movie but I still watched all of the movies.
Anja called me and asked me if I was oky because she knew me well and I told her that I didn't want to have to have a funeral tomorrow.
She cried a little and told me that she will be there for me and stand by my side rhe whole way...
