Chapter 38

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~Cassie's POV~

I lie awake and listen to the deep snores coming from Harry. I'm so torn. On one hand,Derek used to be my best friend. He wasn't always stuck up and over-opinionated. He could be really sweet and funny at times, a side he only showed to me in the privacy of his apartment. His sweet gestures made me feel comfortable with him. How he would leave me sweet good morning notes, flowers, take me on dates, it was that side of him that I absolutely adored.

And then we have Harry.

Broken, scarred from the memories and nightmares that haunt him every night, over-opinionated, overly protective, controlling, drives me insane and makes me want to pull my fucking hair out, perverted, knows no boundaries, and selfish as hell, but the list could go on for quite some time. I will admit, however, to the fact that there are moments so sweet and precious and random with Harry, moments where I get a mere glimpse of how broken he really is under that badass facade he so desperately tries to keep up.

So what do I do?

Well the answer to that question is, I really have no freaking clue.

I need Harry, though he definitely needs me more, but that can't be the deciding factor. There is always a need that overcomes another need. For instance, if you were in the middle of the desert, and someone offered you food and water but they also said you could only choose one or the other. Obviously, you wouldn't be so stupid as to pick neither simply because you couldn't choose just one. Either your need for food would overcome your need for water or your need for water would overcome your need for food. The thing is, you need both. But you can only chose one.

The same goes for my situation. I need Harry, but I also need someone who'll be supportive and loving and kind, but not a pushover.  

So what do I do?

I sigh and take back out the massive diamond ring that Derek proposed to me with. I put it on my finger and examine it. Perfect fit.

Did Derek propose to me because he does really love me? Or was it just to keep me away from Harry?

With these thoughts and more swimming through my head, I lie down and almost instantly fall asleep.

~Harry's POV~

When I wake up, the bed is cold beside me, indicating that Cassie's up and she has been for a while.

She hasn't left has she? I sure as hell hope not.

Wait. What if she got up early this morning before I woke up and left to go give Derek her answer?

I swallow the hard lump in my throat at the thought. I mean, I know she said that she wouldn't say yes to fucking Derek, but what if she meant, just not now? She may not say yes now, but she may say yes in the future. I can't let that happen.

In panic, I get up and rush to the kitchen, calling out her name.

"CASSIE!" I call. "CASS!!" I yell even louder.

I check everywhere in this tiny fucking apartment and she is nowhere to be found.

I sit on the couch,tears streaming down my face as I tug at my hair.

Great. Now Cassie's gone from me forever. I mean I know I've done some seriously fucked up shit but she didn't have to go off to be with Derek. I've really fucked up now. Great Harry, now you've done it. The slim chance you had at being with Cassie just flew out the window. Gone.

~Cassie's POV~

I wake up and yawn loudly, placing a kiss to Harry's forehead before getting up and deciding to brush my teeth. I hate the feeling of yucky teeth especially in the morning. Totally kills my vibe.

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