Chapter 45

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Songs For This Chapter:

Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran

Fix You- Coldplay

The Only Exception- Paramore

 

Harry's hands go to the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. Just that one small touch sends a burst of electricity through my body. Enough to light all of freaking California.

I press my lips to his hungrily, craving to feel his warm lips on mine and he very willingly complies. I reach up and entangle my hands in his soft curls. I tug at them harshly and I swallow the moan that escapes his mouth.

His lips go to my neck, sucking gently rather than harshly like I expected him to. I take in deep, shallow breaths, air trying desperately to get to my lungs when I feel something I've never felt before.

I've wanted Harry before. More times than I can count. But, never before have I...needed and craved him so much. I want to feel his body on mine, his lips pressing delicate kisses to every inch of my skin, hear his soft moans and whispers, I need to feel him, to hear him.

When I was younger, there were these cough drops that I would eat like candy. They were so good and when I first tasted them, I needed them for my sore throat. But, after I was sick, I found that I still wanted them. I didn't need them anymore, I wanted them. Well, flip that around and that's exactly how it is with Harry. I started off wanting him next to me, wanting to hear his groggily cute and grumpy voice in the morning when he wakes up, but now I need him. I need him and I crave him more than I have ever needed or craved anything in my life.

I need him more than air because he's the thing that keeps me breathing. As soon as he's way from me I feel like the universe is pressing down on me and the only way I'll be able to breathe again is when I'm safely in his arms again.

I crave him more than my lungs craved air that one time I was in the pool and I didn't know how to swim and I was drowning and then the lifeguard finally saved me. I was heaving, tryign desperately to get air to my lungs but that is nothing compared to this.

"I need you." I whisper and Harry's soft eyes look into mine.

"I need you too." he tells me and I shake my head. He looks at me, confused. How do I tell him?

"I want you Harry. But it's more than that. I need you." I tell him and his breathing becomes even more ragged.

"Tell me what you want me to do." he whispers huskily.

"Anything," I say. "Everything." I emphasize and mean it.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" he asks me.

"Harry, if you don't want to, then it's fine." I assure him, even though I'm really hoping he won't deny me again.

"No, no, Cass that's not it. I want to fuck you. God, do I want to," he laughs breathily. "I just want to make sure you really want to. That you're ready." he assures me.

"I want to. I'm sure." I say. I've never been more ready and more sure of anything in my life.

"Then first, I want to tell you something," he gulps and disentangles himself from me, still keeping a hand interlaced with mine.

"I want to assure you that it's going to be different this time. This isn't for a bet, this isn't for street cred or anything else other than for the simple yet infuriating fact that I love you more than anything and anyone. I don't want to fuck you. I retract what I said earlier." he says and I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off.

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