To Love Him Once More (USFIL Book 2) - REVAMPED

Chapter 5

LAXER

Panic attacks.

I spent my remaining night researching them, so I would know how to handle it whenever she experienced one. It's unbearable to watch her suffer like that. I want to do something for her—to at least lessen the burden on her heart. I want to be the first person by her side when she's going through it.

There are many things I can do to help her during a panic attack. I just wish I wouldn't be the reason for her suffering. I kept everything in mind and read a more thorough discussion about it. After that, I called Jack to find me another investigator regarding Jearri's death case.

"Dude, it's been years."

"I know, but I'm sure now that I've missed a lot."

"Laxer, matagal na siyang wala."

"Alam ko, Jack. I've moved on, pero hindi ako mapapakali kung hindi ko ipapaulit ang imbestigasyon. Something isn't right. I never saw Jearri's body. I was just informed that she had been cremated. I asked her father, and he always says the same thing.

"She's her father. There's nothing to doubt."

"I just want to make sure. Jack, I don't want to regret anything. Remember the woman I told you about who looks like Jearri? I'm temporary living under the same roof with her, and I feel like I'm closer to unfolding the truth now."

"That she might be Jearri?"

"Yes."

"If she is Jearri, babalik at babalik siya sa'yo. We both know how much she loved you and how much you wasted that love. Kaibigan kita, pero paulit-ulit kong ipapaala sa'yo 'yung pagkakamali mo. Sa totoo lang, if I were Jearri, I wouldn't choose to come back to you."

"Dude, I know. I want to make things right. Kung hindi man siya babalik sa akin ay ayos lang. Ayoko lang na nagtatago siya sa ibang katauhan para lang makaiwas sa akin. I want her to live freely, without worries—even if that means I'm out of the picture, out of her life." Humina ang boses ko sa huling sinabi, masakit pero kaya kong tanggapin.

I can even watch her from afar, admiring her from a distance just to witness her being carefree and happy again. She deserves the best things in life, and I know I can't buy that with all the money I have.

"Alright, but what if she's not really Jearri? What if you're just wasting your time trying to prove that Jearri might still be alive? Don't you think that's disrespectful to Jearri?"

Natahimik ako. Alam kong may porsyento pa rin na posibleng hindi talaga siya si Jearri, pero gusto kong subukan. Kung hindi man siya si Jearri, hihilingin ko na kahit sa mga susunod na naming buhay ay hindi na muling magtagpo pa ang landas namin, hindi na ako nararapat sa kanya. Ipagdadasal ko na sa susunod na buhay ay makahanap siya ng lalaking higit na magpapasaya sa kanya, at magiging masaya pa rin ako sa kaniya kahit hindi na ako. Kaya ko na, kakayanin ko ang buhay na wala na talaga siya sa akin.

"Just this one time, Jack. Huli na 'to."

He finally agreed to my proposal. He will find another investigator to reopen Jearri's death case, and it will be done discreetly—without anyone else getting involved in the investigation. If I need to spend all my money just to find the truth, I will.

I decided to extend my stay for a month. I can work from here while also collaborating with Amanda and John regarding their restaurant. They were very pleased to hear that I'll be extending my stay, but I'm not so sure about Zanya. I noticed her displeased expression when I mentioned my plans.

"Ang kapal ng mukha mo 'no?" I was shocked when I heard her voice speaking in Filipino. I had never heard her speak that way before, malayo man sa accent ni Jearri ay may kung anong humaplos sa puso ko nang marinig iyon kahit hindi naman maganda ang sinabi niya sa akin at tila may kasama pang poot ang boses niya. "Don't you think it's better if you leave?"