no strings attached :: a.i.

06 : Tony

Kyle and I walked in silence back to the therapist's office where his car was still parked. "So I'm guessing that he had something so do with why you were in therapy."

I sighed and brought out my phone again, "Yeah. Did you hear the whole conversation?"

"No. just some of what he said, I'm sorry. I tried not to listen." Kyle looked guilty.

"Its fine I guess. I didn't plan on seeing him ever again really," as I typed out the words, I realized how mean that was.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe some other time," I looked up at him and he smiled.

"It's a date!" He chuckled at the look on my face.

"How about no," but I smiled at him.

"Want a ride?" Kyle asked, pointing to his car.

I shook my head and he nodded. I waved and turned away, heading back towards the sidewalk. I heard Kyle get into his car and drive off. I walked for a while. I eventually made my way into a nearby park, not wanting to go home yet.

I pulled out my phone and opened my contacts. I stared at Luke's number. I stopped walking and sat down on a nearby bench. Without thinking I tapped his name. I pressed my phone next to my ear and listened to the ringing. After a moment I was surprised as someone answered.

"Hello?" The voice belonged to a boy. For a moment my heart stopped beating, "Who is this?"

The voice was too high pitched to belong to Luke. I think. It has been so long since I last heard him speak. I sniffled and quickly hung up on the person. I looked at my contacts again. My next appointment with Mrs. Moore was in two days. When I was checking out the lady had told Tony and I that the group was supposed to meet then. Tony. His name stood out in my contacts list. After Luke had died I had deleted almost everyone from my phone, not like there were that many people that I had actually given my number to.

I thought for a second about maybe texting Tony when he made my decision so much easier. My phone buzzed and at the top it said 'Tony: Hey, I kind of sort of see you'. I snapped my head up and looked around. The park I was sitting in wasn't too large and the only other people there were a small family. I heard the squeal of the little girl as her father pushed her higher on the swing. The mother was throwing away something in a trashcan. Other than the three of them, I couldn't see anyone.

'Tony: look across the street' I looked past the swing set. Across the street was a small restaurant. There was a couple sitting at a table outside but I still couldn't find Tony. Just then I felt something poke my side. My head snapped to my right and I got ready to run. Sitting next to me on the bench was none other than Tony. I sighed and relaxed, he just laughed.

"I'm sorry that was mean," he stopped laughing.

I nodded my head and softly punched his arm.

"Hey! That hurt," I rolled my eyes but smiled to let him know that I wasn't mad at him. "So what are you doing sitting here all by yourself?"

I shrugged at looked back at the family. The father had stopped pushing the girl and was now helping her off of the swing. They held hands and walked over to the mom. She took her daughter's other hand and the three of them headed towards the parking lot. The mom and dad kissed each other over the little girl's head and I could hear her express her disgust. They all laughed and the mom helped the girl into her car seat.

"Do you have parents?" Tony's voice made me jump and I looked over at him. He was also watching the small family. He turned to look at me and I shook my head. "Yeah, me either. Well I do, but they were never really there. Especially when I needed them most."

I looked down at my hands, still holding my phone. Tony got up and motioned for me to do the same.

I got up and followed him across the playground. He stopped at the swing the girl had been on. It was still swinging back and forth. He sat down and kicked the ground. He slowly moved back and forth. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I haven't been on one of these since I was six," He kicked the ground again.

When the swing was as high as it was going to go he jumped off. He landed on his feet and stumbled, almost falling. I giggled and he looked at me. He chuckled as he walked over to me.

"Want me to push you?" He motioned towards the swing he had just jumped off of. I shrugged. I sat down on the piece of plastic and held on to the metal chains holding it up.

Tony gave me a push and soon I was in the air. The air blew my hair behind me. I laughed along with Tony as I came swinging back towards him.

"So, why are you in group therapy?" He asked, knowing that I wasn't going to answer.

He pushed me and talked for a while. He told me about Miami, where he had grown up. I found out that he was an only child and that his natural hair color was light brown. He talked and I listened. He told me about his depression and anxiety had stopped him from making a lot of friends when he was younger.

After a while he stopped pushing me and I looked over my shoulder. I saw him checking his phone and I dragged my feet into the dirt to stop myself.

"Hey I need to go," He said, looking over at me. I raised an eyebrow. "I have a date!"

The smile on his face was huge. I clapped and he bowed, "This is the first date I have had in almost three years and I almost forgot about it. I need to go but it was fun talking."

I waved and he rushed off. I watched him climb into his car which was parked outside of the restaurant across the street. After he was out of site I looked back down at my feet. I kicked the dirt and smiled to myself. I made up my mind. I was done being sad and I was done pushing people away.

Maybe everyone in my life now was going to leave me eventually but there had to be someone somewhere out there that wasn't. I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore so I won't. Maybe it would take a while before I could talk again, but it was going to happen.

~~

I lowkey  shipped Paris and Tony while writing this whoops