no strings attached :: a.i.

08 : puppets

Kyle pulled me along the board walk at Jacksonville Beach. I took the last bite my muffin and tossed the wrapper into a nearby trashcan. Kyle was running around like a child, pointing at the seagulls and chasing them if they came close enough. He had a tight grasp on my hand so I was pulled along too.

With my free hand I pulled out my phone. It was almost time to start heading towards the Therapist's office. I pulled on Kyle's hand and he looked down at me, smiling. His dimples made craters in his cheeks and his smile stretched from ear to ear. I pointed to my phone and he took it out of my hand.

"What if we just didn't go? Who is making us?" He had a point but I shook my head, tugging on his arm, "Fine."

We started to walk back to his car when he abruptly stopped. "When did you stop talking?"

I looked at him, shocked. My confusion must have been obvious because he quickly said "I mean, you weren't always quiet, where you? That boy at the ice cream place, Thomas, you knew him before didn't you? Before you stopped talking."

I just starred at Kyle without moving. I thought for a second, maybe it would be nice if I actually talked to someone about everything that had happened. But then again, maybe it would just push him away. I shrugged and started walking again. Kyle followed.

"Why did you stop? What could have happened in your life that would make you stop talking?" He mumbled the last part to himself but I still heard it.

I got to his car and opened the passenger side door. He came up beside me and shut it, "I just want to know one thing. Please."

I looked up at him and shook my head, before he could say another word I took off running. I always seem to end up in the same place. I only stopped when I saw the ugly brick building that was Jacksonville Counseling Center.

When I walked through the parking lot I saw Kyle's car parked next to the exit. He must have passed me without me even noticing. I couldn't see him in the waiting room when I entered but as I checked in I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Standing next to me was my favorite red haired person in the world. Tony smiled and gave me a one armed hug. I could tell he was about to burst with what he was going to say.

"You two need to head back now, you are already late," The lady at the desk hissed at us.

As we walked to the room that we were in last time, Tony talked about his date, "She was perfect, you wouldn't believe it. We went out to this restaurant that was right next to the ocean. We sat outside and she was wearing this blue dress that matched her eyes and went well with her blonde hair. I didn't know what to talk about so for a while we just talked about the engineering class that we had together last year but then she told me about her family and it was really cool. I found out that her brother is in one of my favorite bands and that was awesome." I couldn't help but smile at the excitement in his voice.

We reached the door and Tony stopped talking. We walking into the room together and took out seats. Kyle glanced at me and I looked away. Mrs. Moore did not look happy that we were late.

"Now that you have finally decided to join us, I think that we can get started," The look on Mrs. Moore's face was not a pleasant site. All of my happiness from the hallway was shoved from my mind and I could feel that it was leaving Tony's too. "Why don't we start out just talking to each other about some of the problems we are facing? Tony, why don't you tell us one of the reasons you are here again."

Tony looked at me and then at Mrs. Moore, "Um, depression is one."

Mrs. Moore look pleased that he had chosen this topic, "Most of us in this room have probably faced depression at one point or the other." She nodded and wrote something on her clipboard, "Tell me, what does depression feel like, use your words."

Jake sat up in his chair and answered her, "It feels like you are a puppet. You can't really control what you do, like you are living someone else's life."

He was wrong, it was like we are all puppets, but you are the only one that can see the strings.