Chapter 2: B for Beginning

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Hell itself rained down upon us.

There were tears, and there was screaming, cursing and prayers; the entire house was turned upside down with havoc.

We didn't know what to do, because that casino was our entire life, it was the only thing keeping us off the streets. And now it's shut down.

My dad had changed; before, there was a desperate man, but now, there was a tired man, who had given up hope completely.

"I'm so sorry Gable-" He would whisper inbetween choked sobs. I never knew a man could cry so much, until that moment.

But who could blame him?

He just lost his job-our only pillar holding up this household, his family. If he doesn't get a job soon, we'll both be shaking old soup cans filled with one or two clanging nickels on the street clothed in only cardboard boxes.

That'd be a sight to see...

I remember sitting down next to him on the couch and hugging him tightly, because there wasn't much I could do- besides staying strong.

If he knew that tears were streaming down my face, it would only hurt him more.

He crumbled into pieces on the couch, shivering underneath my touch. And I decided then, that there was nothing I could do or say to lighten his dark mood.

Standing, I lightly placed a hand on his back, and bent over to kiss the top of his head.

"Love you," I whisper. He replies with a sniffle.

My heart broke as I walked down the hall, shattering into many more pieces. Because I knew that if I didn't begin to help my family, my family will be mine no longer. It will be just two, heartbroken people with nothing better to do with their lives.

Upon entering my bedroom, I heard a door slam shut from across the hall, and more tears rolled down my cheeks. But I quickly wiped them away, because crying is just a sign of cowardice, and that would be breaking a promise I made to myself years ago.

We both went to bed early that night, both dreaming of different things. As I snuggled beneath the warmth of my covers, Jacoby's and I conversation was the only thing I thought of. I replayed it in my mind again and again, thinking of the things I could have changed to make me look less stupid.

Then again, stupidity is my speciality.

As I lay there, restless and awake, my heart just wouldn't stop trying to beat right out of chest. Whenever I thought of the way his pink lips curved up into a smile, or the way he would rock on the heals of his converse when he got nervous, made my heart flutter, and my stomach became anxious. This, this newfound emotion scares me; and it won't go away.

In an attempt to make myself comfortable, I laid on my back. I flipped my pillow onto the cool side because my sweat had dampened the other side. Hell, I even counted sheep.

But being the insomniac I was, I sat up in bed, and slowly dragged myself out of it. I fisted my fingers, and began to rub the sleep out of my eyes, stripping down to my striped underwear and tee shirt in an attempt to cool off.

Pantless, I flipped the switch to my fan, and watched from my beanbag on the ground as it spun, unable to do anything else when he was inhabiting my brain. After countless minutes of that, I resorted to my last option: Netflix.

I'm not some hardcore fangirl, in fact, I'm anything but. I just enjoy watching Glee, because it cheers me up. Besides, what other show would there be to watch at two in the morning?

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