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Chapter 17: P for Party

The night sped by quickly, too quickly if you ask me, as the clocks hands rapidly spun until the arrival of the party while I sat, sweaty and sick, alone in the apartment. Mom and Dad went on a two day "trip" out of town after the appointment with the counselor, so now I'm alone with no wise men to give me any advice- and by that, I mean Mom.

My nerves were tangled into knots, my hands were clammy, and the single, odd thought of lobster made me want to vomit. Why lobster? I actually like them!

I shake my head out of my own sheer stupidity, and stare blankly at the living rooms flashing tv screen for any ideas; like how to do my makeup and hair. Should I go completely bad ass? Well, obviously Bagel! It's a party for Christ's sake!

I kept deciding then undeciding-if that's even a word- on what time I should text Joby to pick me up. Gah, why do party's have to be so hard to get ready for!? Well, it's probably just me, the unaverage teen, who sits alone at her house and cries over the fear of going to a party while others dedicate their entire teen years to them.

I glance from my dipped spot on the couch and squint into the kitchen at the microwaves clock, it reads 9:41 in green. My nerves start to rise up again, but I choke them back down. Because why should I be nervous? Joby will be there and- Joby.

Are we officially a "thing" now since our kiss? I guess so, right? I've been thinking about it nearly 24/7, my other thought souly dedicated to food, and have thought of all the ways it could play out. Wrong or right. Making me or breaking me. But admittedly, my heart, soul, and dreams can only think of the sound of my whispered name leaving his lips that night, the way his voice became rough and husky as it chilled me, thought of the way his eyes burned with longing and passion as he stared intently into my mine. He had said he had liked me from the beginning-hadn't he? Because deep down inside of me, the truth rages; I've liked him all along too.

I like, no, love the way he bites his lip while driving, I love his OH so perfect smiles that makes my knees go wobbly and weak, and I love the way he sings along with Katy Perry and Ke$ha in his car totally off key. I love his snarky, sarcastic remarks and I love the way he looks at me as I try so hard not to fall down. I love the way he has always been and always will be there for me when no one else has and most importantly, I love him for being him. Something washes over me as my heart clenches.

I'm in love with Jacoby Winters, and I have, unknowingly, been in love with him all along.

I grin so wide my cheeks hurt, then squeal like a little school girl. God I'm childish. But will this change things between us? Will things be- awkward now? What if he doesn't love me like I thought? Especially since I'm going to school, he'll probably forget I'm there! Oh my God! I forgot to tell him that I had signed up! He'll be so excited, I can only imagine the smile that'd light up his entire face...

I glance at the clock again and realize I better start getting ready. I jump from the couch and walk to my bedroom and scan my closet, immediately picking out the beautiful aquamarine dress with black, lace sleeves that Joby and I picked out in the mall yesterday. I already begin to drool over it because let me tell you, it was one fine dress!

I strip down to my strapless bra and panties, then gently glide the dress over my hips and upwards, managing to awkwardly hold it on in the front while I zip up the back. If only Jasmine was here... Sadness overcomes me as I realize I need Jasmine as much as I need food, and that's saying something. I'll call her later and apologize for being such a jackass, I think.

Now zipped and feeling the somewhat nice feeling of light-headness from the tight fit, I pick out a pair of peep-toed, black glittered pumps that must've been at least 5 inches high. I adjust the straps then almost-steadily walk into my bathroom, nearly breaking my ankle once, to do my makeup, which isn't much; but tonight, I have the feeling that I should be going all out.