I used to think that when I was little everything would seemingly be better, once I was grown. I spent my whole life wishing away my childhood, praying to God that I could leave, never come back. God gave me what I asked for, an early adulthood. As I lied there, watching Calex sleeping peacefully on Cameron's chest, I pondered if she wished the same thoughts that I once had.
I prayed hard that she wouldn't. Calex deserved a childhood better than Cameron's and my own. She deserved to live happy, healthy, and be loving and be loved in her own ways.
She slept so peacefully on Cameron. I debated whether or not to wake her. "Calex." I whispered trying not to wake Cameron. She didn't budge. "Calex, come on sweetheart."
She rubbed her eyes sleepily, and outstretched her arms for me to pick her up.I let her come into my arms, and she wrapped around me, leaving her head to rest on my shoulder. I placed her under the sheets in mine and Cameron's bed, and tucked them in around her tightly. She returned to her sleepy bliss, as I turned out the light and closed the door.
I tiptoed back into the living room where Cameron was still asleep. I stepped over to him, leaned down and easily kiss his lips.
"Baby, you should go lie down." I whispered as his eyes cracked open. With his eyes still closed, he smiled a soft smile.
"You're too good to me." He said. "But I can't." He opened his eyes, sat the recliner up, causing me to back away. My smile faded.
"Why not?" I asked in confusion. He stared at the clock and then glanced back to me.
"I have to be somewhere in about an hour." He replied rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Be somewhere?" I yelled. "Cameron! It's 1:00 in the morning! Where do you possibly have to be at 2:00 am in the morning?!"
I had forgotten that Calex was asleep, but the rage was running hot. Cameron stood up, completely ignoring me and walking to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a soda from the very back.
"Cameron." I said sternly.
"MACKENZIE I HAVE TOLD YOU ALREADY I CANT TELL YOU." He yelled slamming his hands onto the bark. Dishes in the dish rack clatter onto the bar, and into the sink. I jumped at the sound.
"AND JUST WHY THE HELL NOT CAMERON!? I'm your girlfriend! So why? On God's green earth, would you not tell me?!" I screamed back.
Blood was pumping furiously through my veins. Every ounce of fury in my bones was rising to the surface. I'm his girlfriend. How could he not tell me where he's going in the early hours of the night?
"BECAUSE I CANT PUT YOU IN THAT KIND OF DANGER." He retorted.
By now we were in a full on screaming match. I had totally forgotten Calex had spent the night and was probably awake. I heard crying coming from the bedroom. I stopped yelling, and soon Cameron could hear her too. We both raced to the bedroom. Calex sat up in the bed, hugging a teddy bear that Cameron had given to her the day she was born. She had held onto it since that day, and she had it everywhere she went.
"Calex.." Cameron said softly. "It's alright." She sat in the bed crying to the point she had made herself sick. Cameron approached the bed, but it only startled her even more.
"You... You, throwed the pots uncle cam." She managed to say in her kindergarten grammar. Cameron's eyes went wide, and he looked at me with his mouth open, as if searching for what to say.
"Come here Calex", I said sweetly. She ran to me, keeping her eyes on Cameron while she did it. He rolled his eyes at me, and smiled. But it wasn't a smile of happiness, it was devilish.
"Do you see what you're doing Cameron? Your little mysterious trips at 1 and 2 am? This. This is what it's doing." I said holding Calex's head on my shoulder.
He grabbed his jacket, after giving me a rude look, then walked out the front door slamming it shut.
"Aunt Mack I sorry. I so so sorry. It's my fault." Calex cried. I squeezed her tight, and took her to the living room. I sat down on the couch still holding her close to me.
"No baby, no it's not Your fault. You never think that okay?" I said kissing her forehead. "It will never be your fault."
I never wanted to have a child to feel like this. Even if Calex wasn't mine, she was as close to having one of my own. I never wanted my own children, or any child to feel this way. It wasn't her fault Cameron had become some boy who just didn't seem to care anymore. It was mine. Maybe he was uninterested in me, maybe I just didn't make him feel the same anymore. After being consumed in my thoughts for hours, I finally found the strength to look at the clock.
"Aunt Mack?" Calex asked. "Is uncle cam going to hurt me?" I thought she had been sleeping, but I was apparently wrong. Her question stung my heart with pain. No child should ever be questioning if a relative would hurt them. Especially someone like Cameron who had, had that close relationship with her.
"No Calex.. Your uncle cam would never ever hurt you. He loves you so so much. Remember that." I whispered into her hair. I never wanted her to feel unloved, or unwanted. She didn't deserve that.
I had failed to notice that Cameron had come home, and was standing in the kitchen listening in. I stood up to take Calex back to bed when I noticed him standing there. We exchanged looks, and I looked down to avoid making eye contact with him for longer than I needed to. After adjusting her in bed one time I closed the door once more. I took a seat back on the couch.
"I'm sorry Mack." I heard a voice say. I jumped then closed my eyes and let out a sigh of relief after realizing it was Cameron.
"Cameron.. I really don't wanna hear it. Unless you want to explain the whole situation, like where you're going on these early hour trips then I don't wanna hear it." I said blowing.
I really had just given up on trying with him. It seemed to me that he wasn't going to tell me, so what was the point? I sat staring at the wall for the longest time waiting on him to give me an answer.
"Alright then. Good talk." I said sarcastically. I shot him an ugly smile, then walked towards the bedroom. I heard the moving of his feet, but before he could make it to me, I had already been shut and locked the bedroom door behind me.
"Come on Mack." He pleaded.
"You can sleep on the couch tonight, and just so you know Cameron, your niece thinks your going to hurt her. Good job on putting the fear of Cameron in her. Appreciate it." I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over my head to ignore Cameron's voice that seemed to be climbing through the cracks and crevices. It seemed to echo through the walls into my ears until finally peace ensued, and my eyes fell heavy sending me into a deep sleep.
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• My Best Friend's Brother : His Secret • { Cameron Dallas }
Fanfiction"Mackenzie, since you know now, there's something else you need to know..."