• My Best Friend's Brother : His Secret • { Cameron Dallas }

s i x t e e n

I laid on Alex's chest, as he breathed heavily. Things had gotten heated since the first time it happened. It had been 2 weeks since I kissed him. He had even gotten his own apartment suite in the apartment complex, so we wouldn't get caught, and as happy as I was to be making Alex happy, I couldn't help but feel the remorse for doing this to Cameron.
Cameron was so innocent, and he had absolutely no idea of the affair going on between his brother and me. I thought about it often, how if he were to find out, how badly it would hurt him. But not once did I try to stop myself. Cameron would never suspect anything either, because as far as he was concerned, I would never cheat on him. Which made the situation all the more harder. He trusted me, even though he shouldn't.
I had backed away from pushing Madeline onto Alex. I couldn't have her sneaking in and finding out about us, and I definitely didn't want Alex sleeping with her, knowing that he was sleeping with me too.
Along with the rest of the group, of corse Kylie was completely clueless to the situation, although I felt if she knew, she might have given me a high five, because in her perspective, atleast it wasn't Cameron I was sleeping with.
"What's wrong?" Alex asked as he let his fingers rummage through my hair. I struggled to fight off the sleep, that I had awoken with. Cameron believed I had went with Madeline to a friends house, and I assumed he thought I'd stayed the night there.
"Nothing." I said. Alex didn't need to know about the struggle inside of my own head. He had enough to worry about.
"You can tell me Mack." He said interlacing our fingers. His placed his thumb and forefinger on the wedding ring on my finger, twisting it back and forth, somewhat admiring it. "It's about Cameron isn't it?"
I shook my head. "No of course not. Everything's fine alright?" I told myself to calm down, and try not to get too worked up. I didn't need Alex getting upset about the situation because then he'd be far off worse than what he was. After all I was doing this for him. Because he needed me.
"I'm gonna go, come over for dinner later alright?" I pulled my shirt on over my head, and my jeans up. After lacing my converse, I leaned in and kissed his forehead. I walked down to Cameron's apartment door, unlocked it with my key, and walked in. Calex greeted me at the door with a hug.
  "Aunt Mack!" She squealed. I hugged her back, and kissed the top of her head.
  "Oh my baby! How are you?" I asked trying to make her feel like she was my age. She grinned from ear to ear.
  "I'm good!" She replied. She released my finger, and ran back to Cameron, who was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone.
  "Hey baby." Cameron greeted me. He stood up and kissed my cheek, then headed to the kitchen. I felt the guilt eating me alive, and I wanted so badly to scream to him that I had been having an affair with his brother for two weeks, yet nothing but a simple good morning came out. He had assumed my late night stay outs, were due to my sister being home, or my "growing mind" as he called it.
  "So dinner tonight?" Cameron asked. "Did you want me to cook? Or did you wanna do something? What were the plans?"
  Of course I didn't want him to cook because he can't. I laughed at the thought, then refocused my mind.
  "I'll figure something out, is pizza alright? It's easy and cheap." I replied. Cameron nodded in agreement as he began to wash dishes.
  Money had been tight lately. Cameron had blown the money his mom had left him, and he was running low on what Sierra had left for him. He had also taken a part time job with a small modeling agency, but he hadn't been making too much with it.
  "Everything okay?" Cameron asked me. He must've noticed how into thought I was. Or maybe he could just read the guilt all on my face.
  "Yeah everything's perfect." I lied through a weak smile. I didn't know how much longer I could keep doing this. Maybe I should break things off with Alex, and forget it ever happened. Doing that would mean Alex returning to heartbreak and depression, but I was killing Cameron internally, and he didn't deserve that. He was too good to me. Far too good to me.
  "You sure Mack?" He asked again. "You seem a little off."
  I appreciated him being concerned, but the more he asked, the more I just wanted to blurt out the truth. This was it. I would have to break things off with Alex tonight, and move on. He would have to find better ways to cope.
  I felt sick to my stomach, and suddenly everything was spinning. I tried sitting down, but it was too late, and everything went black.
  "Mackenzie." Cameron said trying to grab my attention. The room was still blurry, but I was focusing in on his voice. "Mackenzie I called the paramedics. They're coming, are you alright?"
  I nodded, and then fell back into a black distant space. Momentarily, I felt safe. Safe in this black, non-existent area. Although I knew I couldn't stay here, something about it felt peaceful, and as long as I was there, I wouldn't have to deal with anything.
  This time I awoke to a doctor shining a light into my eyes. I squinted, to send him the hint of maybe it shouldn't be there. He removed it, and helped me to sit up.
  "Mrs. Dallas", he said. That was the first time I had ever heard someone call me by my new last name, my married name. I cringed at the thought of my marriage, and how awful of a wife I had been.  "MRS. Dallas, are you aware that you are pregnant?"
  "I'm what?" I asked, hoping that he would repeat a difference sentence. The doctor extended his hand for me to shake it, and pushed his glasses back up the ridge of his nose.
  "MRS. Dallas you're pregnant. You must've gotten sick, and it caused your blackout." He spoke with a cheeriness, that simply irritated me. I wanted badly to ask him to stop speaking, but the thought that reoccurred more into my mind was that I was pregnant.
  Then it hit me. It couldn't be Alex's baby. It just couldn't be. I searched the room for Alex and Cameron, but neither one of them were to be found.
  "Can you run a blood test on the two boys that brought me in?" I asked quietly. I pointed to the boys, outside the Window, where I had found them standing.
  The doctor glanced at them then back at me. He must've noticed the worried look on my face, because it hit him that I didn't know who the father was.
  "A paternity test?" He asked calmly. I nodded. "But please, don't let them know that I don't know." I said frightened.
  "Not to worry, I can handle this." He replied. He quickly left the room. I watched as he spoke to them outside the window, the two of them speaking as if they had absolutely no idea, which they didn't. They both agreed to the blood test for whatever reason the doctor told them, considering they followed him to a different room.
  After a few minutes the doctor returned with a few papers, and some prenatal vitamins. "They're blood work will be in tomorrow. But for now, take these prenatal vitamins, it should keep you from becoming sick again." The doctor said as he handed them to me.
  I grasped the bottle of pills tightly, and thanked him through tight lips. The boys had entered the room behind him, and he realized I didn't want them to know yet, so he quickly made an exit.
  "Can we go home?" I asked my voice breaking. They stared at me as if I were crazy. It wasn't the first time, but this time made me feel even worse. Cameron nodded, and grabbed my hand to help me to my feet. He and Alex walked me to the car where Alex went his separate way to his own vehicle and I climbed into my own, with Cameron.
  "You wanna tell me what the doctor said?" Cameron asked, sounding, unhappy. He seemed angry that I hadn't told him yet, and I didn't blame him.
  "I'm pregnant Cameron." I swallowed. A huge lump sat in my throat, and I felt like I couldn't get it to go away. The car remained silent until Cameron had gathered his thoughts. His hand searched for mine, and interlaced with it.
  "This is great news Mack! Aren't you excited?" Cameron seemed happier now, that he had heard good news. Of course it was good news, I had always wanted children. The bad news, was I had no idea who the father was. It could be Cameron or Alex, and either way, it would kill my relationship with the other.
  I felt selfish, as if this child inside of me, deserved a better mother than what I was. I should be certain who the father is. It should be Cameron. It's supposed to be Cameron. After all Cameron, was the love of my life. Was.. The word rang through my head. No he is the love of my life. Alex was.
  I prayed that Cameron turned out to be the father. He deserved to be, and I on the other hand, didn't deserve any of it. I didn't deserve Cameron, or Calex. I didn't deserve the way he treated me or took care of me. I didn't deserve his love, and I especially didn't deserve this child.
  Cameron deserved so much more. So much better. He deserved a better wife, someone who wouldn't cheat on him with his own brother just because she felt sorry for him. That's not what a good wife does.
  I wanted so badly to blurt out everything right then and there. I felt that he deserved that. But I didn't. I remained quiet, and still, and I allowed him to treat me like I was this good wife, who should be high on a pedestal, and I felt the guilt slowly eat me alive.