autism . frerard

Ch.7

It was the next day. The last time I saw Gerard was when he left me at the park, not even bothering to walk me home. I didn't even mention it, I didn't want him to get in worse trouble or to be even more late.

I texted him seven times that night.

He never replied to any of them.

I tired calling him once, at three in the morning whenever I couldn't sleep because he was worrying the shit out of me. I wished he would've been with me. In my arms. So I would know he was safe.

I was stupid to let him go. To let him walk away knowing that he'd get kicked, bruised, punched. How could I have just let that happen? Maybe I would've been able to stop it. I know I would've, I was just a pansy mute that had autism and feels intimidated by everyone they meet.

"I'm so fucking stupid..." I muttered to myself, running my hands through my hair in a frustrated manner.

"No you're not," said a voice. Oh shit, don't look now, she's already probably talking shit about you. It's what everyone does.

"And how would you know?" I asked calmy after a few minutes, keeping my gaze on the table. Admiring my ability to not trip over words anymore. All because of Gerard, and he wasn't even here for me to thank him.

"Look... Frank, I might not have known you since the fourth grade or whatever, but I can tell that you're a smart person. You're sweet, kind, caring... brilliant. You might not see it, but that's only because your opinion of yourself wouldn't matter. People look at you in different ways..."

"Glad atleast someone does..." I muttered. Everyone thinks I'm a fuck up. Everyone except for Gerard. And this girl, who I don't even know describes me as if I'm Jesus.

"I do, because people tell me I'm smart. So I look at you, I don't pass judgement, and I realise that you're a pretty kickass person," She mumbled out, an eagerness to her voice, and I couldn't even look at her yet.

I glanced up at her, taking in her dark brown curly hair, and emerald eyes. Her small freckles littering her cheeks, and her obvious strong love for Blink-182.

"You're obviously upset, so if you want my help, just ask," She suggested. I could ask her to help me with Gerard, I really could. But she'd probably make fun of me and then run off to tell her friends about mute- kid's problems. Plus, if she doesn't support gay rights then there's no point in her even talking to me.

"I don't even know you-" I said, interupted my thoughts before I was sitting there for an hour, just thinking.

"And that wouldn't matter."

×××

"Jared Way?" She asked, messing up his name, like everyone else did when they first met him. If Gerard were here he'd laugh, but now I don't know whether he'd laugh or cry.

"Gerard," I corrected her, scanning over the W files in the school's office.

"Seems like a nice dude," she mumbled, looking around and flipping through papers that were scattered on the desk.

"He's my boyfriend," I said casually as I stumbled upon his file, double checking it.

She moved to looking back out the window and nodded to signify that it was all clear. Or else she nodded because she approved of our relationship? Her opinion wouldn't matter anyway.

"I'm Alice, by the way."

I nodded, not feeling the need to say anything.

I stuffed his file in my backpack and gestured for her to open the door.