autism . frerard

Ch.8

"Gee," I started saying, grabbing his hand and rubbing his knuckles with my fingers, and tracing patterns on the back of his hand. It had been about an hour of laying there and I couldn't take the suspense anymore.

"Yeah?" He asked groggly, and coughed.

"What did your parents do?" I asked, already feeling a nervous tension creep between us.

"Its not important, Frank," He shrugged off, pulling his hand away.

"Yes it is-"

"Well I'm not telling you," He interrupted in an angry tone. Was it that bad? Gerard knew I wouldn't judge him.

"Gerard, please just tell me. I care about you," I answered calmly. I cared about him so much, and he never completely understood that.

"God, Frank... I don't want to upset you," He mumbled looking away. I suddenly felt like he was taking this situation in a different perspective than I am. "I really don't. You don't deserve to be hurt by anyone, or to be upset by anyone. I don't want to be one of those people, Frank. I wish people wouldn't hurt you all the time."

Was he really comparing himself to everyone else? To everyone who barely knows me and calls me a mute? There was no similarity between Gerard and those people. He shouldn't even try or think about comparing himself to them.

"Oh my god- Gerard, don't compare yourself to them. You are the exact opposite and I couldn't ask for anyone better than you. You won't upset me Gerard, you never do. You might make me sad and angry at times but it never stays," I said quietly in a steady tone.

I looked at him, hoping he'd look back. But he didn't. He looked at the bed as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.

"I don't want to make you cry, Frankie; I hate seeing you cry, and it hurts even more when I'm the reason you're crying."

"Tears dry up, Gerard, and then it doesn't matter, okay? It won't matter later on, when we're all okay, and not as sad anymore," I mumbled. "Gerard look at me," I whined. He lifted up his gaze and his eyes focused on mine. They were getting a glassy look from all the tears. "We'll get there some day."

"When is some day?" He asked quietly.

"Soon, Gee, I promise," I said softly, pulling on his shirt.

"I promise, too," He mumbled, pulling me into his chest. He grabbed my thigh and pulled my leg across him, so I was straddling him and it was easier to hold onto him.

"I need to know, Gerard," I mumbled against his chest, my words coming out muffled through his shirt, but I hope he heard me correctly. He bent his knees up and pulled me away. He gently grabbed me and I made a small sound as he layed my back against his knees. I watched him bite his lip in the dim light and noticed there was still a glassy look to his hazel eyes.

He let go of me and crossed his arms over his chest.

I watched him carefully grab a sleeve of his jacket and he winced as he pulled it off. His arm was trailed in bruises and small cuts. He slid off the other sleeve and it had the same damage done to it. The purples with the blues and all the dried blood with the fresh. Continous blobs of red that spreaded all over his arms. I was on the verge of crying, my brain racking for reasons why his parents seemed to be such assholes.

He dropped his jacket to the floor and nervously bit his lip. I could tell that there were obvious pools of tears in his eyes, but he held them back.

He flicked his gaze to mine, a strong, hard glare that made me nervous. I felt my eyes start to get teary at the sight, my eyes starting to look more closely at all the bruises and cuts that littered his arms.

I sniffled, holding tears back, as Gerards hard gaze met mine again.

"I'm not t-telling anyone-" He started, but I interupted him.

"Gerard-" I whined hopelessly, feeling a tear slip out of the corner of my eye. He didn't even let me finish.

"And neither are you," He finished, strongly grabbing my arms. His hard, yet desperate hazel eyes briefly met mine before I closed my eyes and let out a sob.

"Shhh, be quiet, Frank," Gerard said softly, running his hand over my cheek, wiping away stray tears. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, wanting the endless flow of tears to stop.

I tried to choke back a sob, but it slipped out. Dammit, I could get Gerard in even more trouble. I should just leave. I'm just making things worse for the both of us.

"Shh, Baby, be quiet," Gerard cooed against my forehead, kissing it and pulling me into his chest.

I whined and wanted to hit him. Out of anger (and sadness) and his stupidity; and mine. Out of how he wouldn't tell anybody and how he forced me to watch it happen. I found myself the urge to hit his chest a couple of times, but it barely did anything. My tears were flowing at a agonisingly slow pace. He ended up gently grabbing my wrist and wrapping my arms around him.

I grunted and tried to relax in his embrace as he rubbed my back. This was not fine, this was not okay. And he was treating it like it was. How could he do this? To himself, to me, to everyone who knew him. It was tearing me apart and he cared, but he just kept making it worse.

"Calm down," He whispered.

"I-I can't- God, you have no idea how pissed I am at you right now," I struggled out, staring right at him, feeling the need to scream out at the top of my lungs. His eyes softened and turned to a sad and hurt expression. "Gerard, please... jus-just tell someone," I whined. "Gee, please."

He looked down and I sighed, sniffling and wiping away my own tears, since most if them got soaked up by Gerard's shirt. He groaned and pulled me into him, and I let him.

"Gerard, I don't want you to get hurt anymore," I mumbled, holding him back tightly.

"I know, Baby, I know," He cooed quietly as he rubbed my back and rested his head on top of mine. "I don't like it either. I'll see if I can do anything."

"Tomorrow," I mumbled quietly.

He hesitated before replying, "tomorrow."

×××

Hi.hey.hello

If this chapter is shit for you, it's only because I'm tired and wanted to finish this book.

Next chapter is the last chapter, my friends. :P

:)

<3