Sick Minds

Chapter Four

*Alex's POV*

"Yeah sure." His voice was raspy, like he haden't spoken in a little while.

'They're going to get Frank to watch us so we can go outside. You can wait here or you could walk with us.' I quickly wrote for him to read. I was kind of hoping he'd speak again but he just nodded. I was okay with that too. If he's not talkitive then the chances of me acidentally talking are not as great.

I beconed him to follow me when I walked over to Jack, Alex, and Frank. The five of us made our way outside; it was a little chilly with a breeze, but I had a sweatshirt on, so it wasn't that bad. Jack and Alex were a bit dumbfounded still that he had come with us. Well so was I but I didn't really care.

Because of me being in and out of hospitals for so long, I barely get to be outside. My family didn't trust me to go out by myself but they also didn't wanna take me anywhere. I just sort of rotted away in my room.. That probably didn't help me out any. Not that I blame them. They did okay for the fuck up they've been handed. This is another topic I've discovered that I don't like to think about.

But anyway I was finally outside. At first I thought I would stay with Alex and Jack but I quickly decided to adventure on my own. I preferred being alone after what had happened. Another thing I shouldn't think about. I'm not yet good at not thinking about things like that.

I wandered away from the group, not that there was a lot of space, and sat by a garden type thing. It was some wild flowers and tree saplings and a whole shit ton of stones and stuff. I lost track of how long I was out there. It was peaceful and I felt safer than I had in weeks, maybe even months.

That was until I heard someone silently approaching where I was sitting. My whole body froze with a paralyzing fear. The movement stopped but I still couldn't look. It stayed in that silence for what felt like hours until a voice spoke up.

"Uh hey I was supposed to find you. The doctor or whatever says we have to go inside now.." It was Austin's voice that was heard through the silence. Instantly I felt relived. I don't know what I expected honestly but it wasn't good.

In response I stood up and gave a nod and a small smile in his direction before racing indoors. I knew it was an overreaction but it's hard to get used to being around people that I don't know again. Not that I was ever exactly good at being around strangers, but it was absolutely easier before.

I knew we were supposed to do activities and all that shit today but after that I really just wanted to go back to my room and try to sleep.

'Can you help him out today? I'm not feeling very well so I think I'm just gonna skip out on the rest of today yeah?' I showed the note to Jack and Alex and waited for their response. They both agreed and said some kind words about my faked illness. I should feel bad about already lying to people but I guess shit happens. I barely know them anyway so it's not that shitty of me.

I found my way back to my room easily and just laid on my bed. There's not really anything to do in this hell hole. I mean I guess that's why they limit your bedroom time to usually just lights out, but they really don't have anything useful to do here. All I can do in this room is sleep or shower.

I understand that it's not supposed to be a fun experience but they could at least try to make it a little more comfortable than this. There's too many thoughts going through my head right now.

I lift the sheets off my bed and cover myself in the hospital smelling fabric. There's nothing I want more right now than my own blankets. When I got here  they said that making 'progress' would grant me privileges, and for some reason one of those privileges is the ability to have your items shipped in. I doubt anyone would send anything in anyway. I'm probably not going to be here that long.

After finally calming my mind enough to go to sleep, I took my nap.

~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to Austin coming into the room. I don't know how long I was sleeping, but it was dark outside now. When he looked over I pretended I was still sleeping. I peaked through my almost closed eyes, and watched as he took off his sweatshirt and shirt. His chest was covered in scars and cuts and bruises, as was his back. I quickly closed my eyes when he looked over at my bed again.

That didn't look good at all. Not that it's really my place to think that at all either.

I waited until I could hear his breathing slow down and steady before I sat up in my bed. I got up and stretched before I slipped out of the room. It was only nine and mandatory lights out wasn't for another hour, so I went to go walk around.

Back home, whenever I did leave my room I liked to go for walks. Those walks of course only ever happened at night and they were actually outside but this would work enough. I mean it kind of had to.

I made a couple loops through the parts of the building that we're allowed to go through. I saw the phones and was very tempted to use them but that's a privilege I didn't have, and even if I did have it, I didn't have anyone to talk to.

Most people would call their family I guess but believe it or not my family isn't the happiest bunch of people. Well they're very nice, don't get me wrong, they just aren't very happy with having to constantly relocate where we go in order to get me treatment. They also don't really think I'm trying to get better. I mean I also haven't actually spoken to them in several months. Or anyone for that matter.

I got lost in thought, as well as in the building. I don't know why I thought I wouldn't get lost. I've barely even been here and I decided to go on a walk alone at night of all times.

I started walking with a hope of finding my way out. All it was was one long, white hallway connected to more long, white hallways. Well fuck. It's probably been over an hour by now which means it's after lights out which means this will be happening in the dark soon. I'm not a fan of being alone in the dark at all.

As I turned down one hallway, I heard footsteps echoing behind me. Anxiety coursing through my veins, I freeze mid-step. The footsteps continued to to approach me as I debated turning around. Hell no. Nope. There's no way in hell in turning to face whoever is standing there.

"Alan? Is that you?" A curious voice called out towards me. "You know it's lights out right? That means you can't be out here now." I slowly turned around to see Frank standing there. At least I'm pretty sure it was Frank. I still don't know the workers names seeing how I've been in my room most of the time.

I just shrugged and looked down. I forgot my notepad and pencils. Well not really forgot; I just didn't bring them. Why would I? I wasn't planning on seeing anyone.

"Alrighty kid, let's get you back to your room," he looked like he was going to lead me by touching my shoulder, but stopped when I flinched away. He started walking down the complete opposite hallway.

I was no where near finding my way back I discovered when we reached my room. When I started opening my door I looked at Frank (his name tag confirmed his name) and gave him a small smile as a thank you.

"Hey kid, you're going to be alright here. It probably seems pretty scary right now but you're going to be fine. Have a good night. I'll see you at breakfast duty." He smiled and waved as he walked away. I wonder if it's their jobs to say nice shit like that.

I went in my room and sat down on the bed. Austin was still sleeping but was facing away from my bed now. It was exactly ten minutes past lights out when I heard the doors click, signaling that they were now locked. Well that's something I never noticed while being here.

My mind kept repeating the words Frank said to me as I drifted off into a restless sleep.

AN
Hey so oops it's me the trash queen. I'm so fucking sorry guys. I'm going to try to keep up with it this time. (I say that every single time though so we'll see how this goes)