A Boy Named Jasper {Wattpad Featured Novel}

<Jasper> A Boy Who Made a Mistake

Chapter 27

<Jasper Coven>

I'm staring up at the sky as it turns from day to night time; it's that time in between, when the sky in still light enough to see by, but it's changed from blue to a swirling mixture of pink and red. This was Callie's favorite time of day. I ignore my thoughts and instead, take a sip of the moonshine in my glass. It burns my throat, but it numbs the pain of losing Callie, so I continue to drink.

I know I'm drinking myself into oblivion, I know I'm just trying to forget the pain for a little while. I promised myself I would never touch a drop of alcohol in my life, that I would never turn into my father, but love makes people do things they never wanted to do and love is what scares me, I guess. But I only got my foolish pride to blame for making her leave me...

I don't know why I let her walk away, why I watched her get into her car without chasing after her and saying the apology that was hanging on my lips. I don't have an excuse because there was really no reason for me to let things escalate the way they did. Maybe I was mad at my dad, maybe I was mad at God for allowing my dad to come back, maybe I was mad that nothing ever worked out the way I wanted it to, but now I'm just mad that I was such an ass to the only girl I've ever loved. I made her cry, I broke her heart and yet I can't force myself to go apologize. I'd rather drink myself to death than go beg for her forgiveness. I guess I know where I learned to solve my problems. I think bitterly as take another long swig from the mason jar in my hand.

"Well she was precious like a flower. She grew wild, wild, but innocent. A perfect prayer in a desperate hour. She was everything beautiful and different. Stupid boy, you can't fence that in. Stupid boy, it's like holdin' back the wind." I strum on my guitar, my voice raspier than usual from the moonshine.

I hear some leave rustle behind me and then I feel another body slide into the truck next to me. I know it's Callie, but my drunk brain doesn't process this fact until she starts talking.

"You didn't tell me your dad had come home." She whispers, slipping her hand into mine.

"That's what I didn't want to relive."

"Was that why you wanted to push me away?"

I nod and don't say anything as I stare up at the darkening sky.

"I would've understood if you'd just told me. I've always been there to support you no matter what, why did you want to shut me out when it sounds like you could've used some support the most?"

"I couldn't even admit to myself that I was right back where I'd started. He just barged right back into my life, and I guess I went back to the way I was before; it made it easier to deal with everything."

At first, I didn't really know to react; I was just mad that things were starting to unravel. I guess that's why I went to Pastor Tate, because I needed someone to remind me that there was a better place if I just continued on. Then, once I got back to Mrs. Arthurs house, I realized that I was going to have to deal with all the same problems again because my dad was never going to change. I was going to have break up fights between him and my mom, I was going to have face his insults and him throwing punches at me when he smokes a little too much. It all became too much to bear and I snapped; I went right back to shutting people out and shriveling up into my little shell of anger and self-despair.

To be honest, living with dad hasn't been as awful as before. I mean, I know better than to think he's changed forever, but he hasn't gotten his hands on any alcohol or drugs and that makes him an almost civilized person. He's kept his insults to a minimum and I've even seen him try to help out around the house. I think my mom's scared of the new him, though, as if he's going to snap at any moment. Not that I'd ever blame her. Inevitably, he'll get his hands on something strong and it'll be right back to walking on eggshells and praying that he doesn't kill us, but I'm going to prolong that as long as possible.