There's a Reason Horror Movies are Rated R

Terrible Gift Ideas

"Wait, who's birthday is it?" Michael's question was the only noise that dared interrupt my and Freddy's argument. I turned to glance at the door where he stood holding a box wrapped in purple, red, blue, and green striped wrapping paper with an orange bow to top it. I walked over to him and took the box, feeling its weight and shaking it slightly.

Shrugging, I turned towards the kitchen and raised the box slightly. "Ghostface, is it your birthday?" I asked, my voice breaking as I started to feel the burn in my throat from yelling so much.

"Not for anotherrrrr... One, two, three..." He counted in slurred words under his breath. He was obviously drunk. "Michael! When's my birthday again?"

"Ghostface you didn't forget your fucking birthday, you're literally only doing this for my attention. God, for the last time, I don't fucking care."

"Oh yeah, December 20th! I think that's, like, five months away," Ghostface said without even a hint of hurt. He often found himself all over Michael when intoxicated, claiming he looked like a girl. Jason and I think he's just hella gay and knows Michael is too.

I looked down at the box and cautiously began tearing off the wrapping paper. It sure as hell wasn't anyone's birthday, so this was either gonna be a bomb or something horr(or)ible. I threw the paper aside and walked into the kitchen, pulling out a pocket knife.

After a few minutes of cutting tape and panicking, I got the box open. A styrofoam case hid the object from view, the words, 'a housewarming gift' written on it in sharpie.

"For you maybe?" Jason's voice suddenly interrupted from nowhere, causing me and Ghostface to jump (him maybe a little more dramatically). "I mean, we did just decide you're saying here permanently."

I didn't consider it very long before shaking my head. Not only do I not have many friends to give me gifts, but they don't have any friends to tell about my staying here. We all sat quietly, staring at the box for quite awhile until finally Freddy, of course, had to break the silence.

"Don't just stand there, open the damn thing!" He demanded, yet didn't move a muscle. I slowly lifted the styrofoam, only to find inside...

"Oh my go... Gopher, what in the hell?" I reached into the box and carefully lifted the corpse of a dead toddler. All of the killers took a step back, Ghostface letting out a horrified gasp. It was a redhead with freckles and bright blue eyes, holding in its hands some sort of golden square piece of plastic. I sat him back down and pried it from his small fingers.

I turned the piece over in my hand, observing its every crease. It looked like paint had been chipped off or maybe even painted over. It had strange patterns carved into it as well, along with a small hole in the backside not quite going all the way through. I glanced back up at the boys hoping maybe at least one of them might recognize it, but all of them were still indulged in the mystery that was the small boy. I set the piece aside and took in their expressions-- which was a little hard consider three of four wore masks, but you learn once you get to know them well.

"You guys act like you haven't ever seen a corpse before," I said, a bit amused. They didn't laugh. "Guys, come on, at least I'm not trying to think about it, I advise you do the same if it causes you that much emotion..."

"It's not that," Jason mumbled. "He just... looks so damn familiar."

I shrugged and shoved the lid back on the box, tired of seeing the thing. Ghostface suddenly grabbed my arm before I could even lift it up.

"Wait! Can I keep him?" We all stared at Ghostface silently. Personally, I was a bit horrified, but there was no telling what the others were thinking. Freddy reached over and slid the box towards him.