There's a Reason Horror Movies are Rated R

The Type Of Horror Movies That Aren't Very Out Of The Box

When I woke up that morning, the house was almost completely silent. The only noise I heard was a quiet hum. I slowly sat up and got ready to investigate, but I didn't have to travel far. In front of me was Pinhead, carefully moving a Jenga block out from his Jenga tower.

"Boo." I muttered sarcastically. He jumped and his tower came crashing down. He starred at it in agony, then turned to me with a sort of frown.

"Well, I guess I kind of deserved that." He muttered and began to build it back up.

"Yeah, about that, why the fuck would you knock me out?" I asked suddenly remembering last nights events.

"Uh, well, I... I didn't want you to see how I got rid of them." He mumbled placing the last few blocks to his tower. That was fast.

"Who's them?"

"The boys. All of them were just flat out annoying. So, I put them in Hell." He started to slowly remove a block from his tower.

"How is that exactly?" I was suddenly curious. I could tell it had something to do with his horror killer abilities or whatever, but I had never seen HellRaiser, I just knew he was from the movies.

"Pandora's box. The entire thing is a maze they can never escape." He smiled and another one of the blocks from the middle of the tower like he was some kind of badass.

"Oh..." I looked down at my hands. My phone was sitting next to me and vibrating. When I picked it up I could see Pinhead tense up from the corner of my eye. But I ignored him and checked the contact. It was an unknown number that had called me about 30 something times now. I slowly answered it and put it to my ear.

"...Hello?"

"It's about time." It was Freddy. How in the hell did he get my number?

"Yeah, what is it?" I glanced at Pinhead, who was now staring at either me or the phone, maybe both.

"Look, I know that I've been really shity to you ever since you started living with us, and you haven't even been here... er, there that long, but I can't stay in this box with these idiots." Freddy admitted. Pinhead rolled his eyes and continued playing Jenga.

"Okay, hold on..." I stood up and made my way into the other room. I didn't know the situation, nor did I care, but I could tell whatever it was, there was a rivalry between Freddy and Pinhead.

"Look, I need you to tell Pinhead that I have his cube." Freddy explained. I could hear GhostFace faintly yell, "And we solved it!" from the background.

"His... His what?" I glanced at Pinhead who had a worried expression and was walking around the kitchen, obviously trying to find something.

"Long story short, he has... Had this cube that he's emotionally attached to that can suck people into it. Now, please, could you just give the phone to Pinfuck?"

I walked back into the kitchen and held the phone out to Pinhead, not because I wanted to obey Freddy, but because this whole situation was starting to get pretty interesting. I sighed as he cautiously took it.

"Krueger, you sorry bastard, where in the Hell is it?" Pinhead said angrily through gritted teeth. This thing really meant a lot to him, he looked like he wanted to kill someone... then again he was a killer.

I silently watched Pinhead get angrier and angrier as he listened to Freddy.

"Fine!" Pinhead yelled. He pressed the, "End Call," button on my phone, then launched it furiously, making a light dent in the wall. I ran over and picked up my phone to discover the dent in it wasn't so light. I frowned and began to mess with my phone making sure everything still worked properly, ignoring the bright flash that came from the living room along with loud rambling,

After I gave up trying to even get past the lock screen of my phone, I glanced into the living room. Instead of finding Freddy and Pinhead at each others throats, like I had expected (and kind of hoped for), I found Freddy holding a box and smiling with satisfaction. Jason was sitting next to Michael and Ghostface flipping through the T.V. channels, obviously bored with everything on.

"So what exactly ha-" I started to say, but Freddy interrupted me by slamming down a hammer on the cube. I jumped back and stared at him in bewilderment.

When the cube didn't do so much as even move, Freddy tried again, harder this time. But nothing happened. I watched him quietly as he tried a few more times, then finally dropped the hammer loudly, obviously more than frustrated.

Michael sighed and walked over to him. Freddy started to say something, but stopped when Michael picked up the cube and carried it to the couch.

"What are you doing?" Ghostface asked as Michael, with a bit of struggle, managed to push the side of the couch.

"Putting it where no one will ever have to look at it and all of its ugliness again." Michael muttered. He got on his hands and knees and started rubbing parts of the floor until one board moved with his hand. He pulled the board up and shoved the cube into the floor. Problem solved, I guess.

"One down, three to go." Freddy smiled and stole Michael's spot on the couch. Michael just sighed and moved to a chair.

"I'm just gonna... go turn in my job form." I mumbled and made my way towards the doors, papers in hand.

"Get me a coffee, would ya? I need something to wake me up." Freddy propped his feet up on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I'll be back in a few." I just wanted some time to think everything over. All of this was crazy, not to mention I'm pretty sure that all happened in under 10 minutes.