Sick (Peterick AU)

I'm a Little Unsteady

"Pete," I trailed off a bit. "I've been... I've been thinking." I said this as I stared at the wall across from me, listening to the static in the empty room.

I don't know how I'm going to tell him. It would break his heart, maybe even have him go off the deep end. I don't want to hurt him, so I have to be careful about what I say and how I say it.

I don't remember much about the last time I woke up, other than Pete, Ryan, and Dr. Priddy all looking very concerned. I didn't like that at all.

I'm still bedridden, and I hate it. I hate this. So, so much.

I know most of what's going on, I don't know exactly why though. I know that I'm slowly losing mobility in my legs. I know that I'm getting worse in general.

I don't know how to tell them what I want. Especially Pete.

The door opens, startling me. I look over to see Ryan walking in. He sees me, and looks quite surprised to see me awake.

"Hey, buddy," he begins. "Long time, no see."

"Hi," I respond, simply.

"I'm just gonna do some routine stuff for right now, and if you're still awake when I finish, we can talk, or do whatever. Sound okay?"

"Yeah."

He does his "routine stuff." Refilling my supply bag, as I call it, with water. Shoving a needle into the small tube to get the medicine to me. I feel a cold sensation run through my arm as he checks the monitors, making sure they're all still up and running.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm exhausted. I can feel sleep trying to lure me in, but this time, I fight it. As much as I want to escape right now and avoid the whole situation, I need to tell him this.

"Okie dokie," Ryan chirps as he turns from one of the monitors. "You made it! So what do you want to do?"

I look at him, knowing of the serious look on my sunken face. His face itself sinks a bit, as he realizes that what I need to talk about is important.

"What's up," he prompts me.

I take a deep breath and sigh, before telling him. He needs to know, after all. I'm happy with him being the first one I tell.

After I explain my situation, Ryan stares at me in shock; his eyes wide and his mouth agape. I can tell that he's taken aback, upset with my desire. The shock eventually wears away from his expression, leaving nothing but hurt, and confusion.

"I know that its sudden, and all," I blurt out before he can say anything. "But I think its just... Best. For everyone."

Ryan slowly, reluctantly nods. "Does anyone else know?"

"No. You're the first one I've told."

"And how do you plan to tell Pete?"

"I've been working on it."

"Okay then," Ryan throws up his arms in frustration. "When?"

"In a week, I think."

"A week," he exclaims, questioning and appalled. "Fine. Fine. Fine. I just hope you can squeeze it out of yourself to Priddy, and Pete especially."

"Of course," I reply, quite indifferent. Pete would know, probably by the end of the day. Even if it isn't me that tells him. Ryan stands, obviously repressing a lump in his throat. He nods once to me, leaving.

I release the breath I was holding, finally letting a tear form at the corner of my eye. He had to see this coming. They all did. They'd be fools if they didn't. They know what's wrong with me, what I have.