Day By Day

chapter 8.

“Fee, I don’t want to go home. I hate momma” Kendall cried into my shoulder as we stood at her gate before she boarded her plane back to Vegas.

“Kendall, don’t do this to me baby girl. Look it’s nearly Christmas, I’ll be home then, I promise. Plus Ben said he would be there this year, it’s going to be amazing. I promise” I said as I held my little sister in my arms.

“I’m just going to miss you” she cried as the final boarding call was heard and I tightened my grip on her.

“I’ll miss you too baby girl, but you really got to go.” I said kissing her forehead and pushing her towards the woman who was ready to take her ticket.

“I’ll see you later” I smiled and waved as I watched the woman giver her ticket and passport back before she headed through the door towards the plane.

I stood for a while watching her plane as it took off and I wrapped my arms round myself as I walked back through the airport, I was going to miss her so much, she was the one that kept me together the past two weeks. When I got to my car I sat for a minute before pulling out my phone and going to my contacts and smiling at the name before holding it up to my ear.

“Hello?” I smiled when I heard his voice, I had missed him.

“Hi” I said quietly and I heard his laugh through the phone.

“Pheonix, god I’ve missed your voice beautiful” my best friend sighed into the phone.

“I miss you Ben, like really miss you” I said as the tears begin to slide down my cheeks.

“I miss you too, so much. You need to come out to LA soon.” he said and I nodded.

“I am, I have a concert next month. I’ll come see you. You’re still going to moms for dinner right?” I asked, my voice breaking.

“I cant wait. I’ll be there, I promised and I tend to keep that promise.” he said sternly into the phone.

“It wouldn’t be the first promise you have broken if you don’t” I said quietly then instantly regretted it.

“Pheonix, am I still making up for that? You know this isn’t my fault” he said, his breathing getting heavier.

“I’m sorry. Look I need to go Ben, I’ll talk to you soon. I miss you, so much!” I whispered into the phone, biting my lip waiting on his response.

“I’ll see you soon, I love you” he said quietly and I had to cover my mouth to stop my sob from escaping.

After hanging up the phone I turned it off and threw it on the passenger seat and turned the music up to try and stop my mind from wondering, it always went back to the day I had lost Ben, you know when people say you never truly get over your first love? Trust me when I tell you it’s true.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Ben said running his hand through his hair, pacing back and forth.

“please, d-don’t do this Ben. I promise I’ll get help! I promise!” I cried as I grabbed his arm to make him look at me.

My hair was a complete riot, I had my mascara and eye-liner causing my eyes to be black, my lip stick was smudged and the sobs that wracked through my body wasn’t pretty.

“You’ve said this so many times! But you don’t!” he yelled at me and I let out a scream as I slid down the wall.

“it’s not my fault! I’m fucked up okay! You knew that but you promised Ben!” I screamed at him as my fingers ran up and down my arm, scratching it. “You promised” I cried as he stood looking down at me.