elusive love || s. mendes

six

"what's your problem? we aren't married or engaged yet, i still have my own freedom. so please, do me a favor, and fuck off."

i spat. shawn softened up his features, but anger radiated from him as usual. he was always angry around me, or disappointed, i'm sorry okay? i didn't want this any more than you did. actually, i did, but i was mistaken.

i was mistaken that you were in love with me. and that's the only thing i regret thinking of. not loving you, not being your bestfriend... but thinking you actually fell in love with me.

i slammed my utensils to the dining table. my fists stabbing into my knife accidentally, i wince. i feel my eyes burning, feeling the waterworks. i grip my knuckles even harder, blood staining the white table cloth. i don't care about the knife in my hand, i care about the knife in my heart.

"PAULINA!"

shawn jumped up from his seat, and immediately grabbing my bleeding hand. i rip away my hand from him, his grip wouldn't budge. i begin to cry, the pain, all the pain. physical, and mental. i was tired of him, i was tired of loving someone who could care less.

"let go of me!"

i cry out. shawn doesn't let go.

"JASPER!"

i hear footsteps running down the hall. a man with dark brown hair appears, my god, everyone is so attractive. he had dark grey, misty eyes, his ruffled hair was tousled. his eyes dart to me, widening, shawn grew frustrated seeing jasper gaze at me. i wipe away my tears with my not cut up hand.

i bow my head down. jasper looks down to my hand in shawn's grip, shawn wasn't hurting me, surprisingly. he had supplies with him, guessing he was the doctor of this house.

"oh my, what happened?"

i rolled my eyes. this wasn't anything compared to my scars. shawn never knew about my self harm issues, luckily.

"she slammed her hand against a knife."

jasper raised his eyebrows in curiosity along with confusion. i give him a sad look, hoping he'd understand. he did, by nodding graciously.

"well you're a tough cookie with a cut this deep in your hand. you're not even flinching."

he confesses. i shrugged. he ripped out the knife out of my skin, my skin opening. i gazed at my hand, interested. open wounds...

"well, paulina. don't ever do that again first off, and second off, why did you do such a painful action?"

i scoffed. isn't it obvious? i'm living with a selfish, lying, and cocky prince.

"i've been in more painful situations mentally."

as he finishes wrapping gauze around my wound, and cleaning it with benzoyl peroxide. i stand up, a bit woozy from the blood loss. shawn instantly caught me, steadying my balance. i push him away, growling. i cling onto jasper, he holds onto my waist openly. jeez, jasper was built his body figure was the same as shawns.

height as well. if i was drunk i could mistaken him as shawn, yikes. i pause from walking away, turning my head to the side. jasper beside me, and an angry shawn eyeing us.

"just stay the hell away from me,"

i grit my teeth. i turn to look at jasper, he smiles sympathetically even though he was in the most awkward position.

"from us, actually."

shawns mouth drops, i didn't even have to look behind me. jaspers as well. i had no friends in this fake castle. jasper was the only one not afraid of breathing around me, or was intimidated.

"wanna be bestfriends?"

i say a little too loud, knowing shawn would eavesdrop. jasper smiles staring at me.