elusive love || s. mendes

eight

i blush from his comment, shawn stood up. walking over to me slowly, he bent down on one knee, taking out a box. i gasp, oh my-

"paulina visotro martinez, will you do me the greatest honor in marrying me?"

he held my hand, placing the open box in my palm. the ring was beautiful, my mouth was slightly parted in shock. karen was happily filming, while watching us both.

"yes."

i breathe out. shawn's eyes glistened, tears forming. he gently slid the ring onto my ring finger on my right hand. karen squealing in excitement from afar, i felt dizzy. he looked up at me, a tear falling down his cheek. as did i.

he stood up, holding onto both of my hands. he leaned down slowly, our lips connecting. caught off guard, i gasped, yet again. he continued massaging his lips onto mine, passionately i responded back. my stomach felt like it was about to burst, his hand let go of mine and began wrapping itself around my waist.

he pushes me into him i giggle into the kiss, as he smiled, pulling away. i take in a deep breath as karen began clapping, shawn wouldn't stop staring at me which creeped me out a bit. he wasn't acting like himself, this is all fake isn't it? i sniffled, looking away from both shawn, and karen. he doesn't love me, he never will, all of this.. this marriage.. is based on lies.

i slip away from shawns grip around me, to the dressing room. i locked the door quickly, sitting down. i looked up to the chandelier, seeing memories of me and shawn together. i silently cried, terribly hard. i covered my mouth as my hand was covered in tears, it felt like forever. my heart felt heavy. i calmed down, undressing my wedding gown.

and slipping back into my prior outfit, looking at myself in the mirror. i looked terrible, my nose was red, my eyes were puffy. i opened the door to be quickly greeted by a very excited mother, hugging me. i laughed, wrapping my arms around her as shawn was at the cashier paying. i looked down, pulling away from karen, so she wouldn't see my face.

"i'm gonna go to the bathroom okay?"

i quickly looked for a bathroom, and soon enough found one. i washed my face with cold water, patting it dry and looked at myself in the mirror. can't i just call it off? he can find true love, but it'll never be with me. this isn't what we wanted at all. it wasn't what he wanted.

the drive home was calm, besides the radio playing. i opened shawns car door, closing it while walking inside his house. i kicked off my flats, and put on my running sneakers. shawn stopped me before i could leave.

"hey, where are you going?"

i looked at him with tears in my eyes.

"anywhere that's away from you."

i walk around him, jogging down his steps and onto the side walk. shawn had confusion written all over his face before i left. i needed fresh air, i needed to just be alone and think. so i ran, i ran like hell until i slowed down and got tired. i sat at a bench, catching my breath.

i slowly stood up, instantly falling into an abyss.