Save Me (Drew Chadwick Fanfic)

My Bullying Experience

Hey Everyone! If you read my last chapter, you would know that I put a bullying message in there. I hope all of you, if you don't already, will help to prevent bullying from taking place. I know it's not always easy but YOU have the power to save a life.

I wrote this essay last year, my sophomore year of high school. Our class was writing a "This I Believe" essay and I chose to say that I believe that true happiness comes from the acceptance of yourself. I hope you do read this and it encourages you to stand up for someone. I'm still bullied on occasion but I honestly couldn't care less right now. I have so many things going for me and I don't let anyone tear me down anymore. If anyone ever wants to talk, about anything, just chat me. Or you can tweet me at @audgee23 or if you ask in a comment below that you want to talk, I'll give you my number so you can text me. Please, stand up and make a change. Thank you and here is my essay:

Audrey Pratt

Mr. Miller

English 10 Honors

30 April 2013

This I Believe... "Why are you so unhappy?" I would be asked this question frequently growing up in middle school. I never knew how to answer it back then, but I do now. I have realized over the few past years that the answer to my unhappiness and yours is simple. The secret to happiness is the acceptance of yourself.

Weird. Ugly. Fat. Nerd. Loser. Those are just some words that we as people are called. Yes they sting, but why do we allow those names to hurt us? We are told by adults to ignore the hate; that it wasn't true and we were all beautiful in our own way. But, it didn't matter how many compliments I received, because at the end of the day, I only remembered the insults.

In 8th grade, I was 12 going on 13 years of age. I was picked on a lot. Every day I was unhappy. And my few friends could see the sadness in the way I acted. Sometimes, I would fall into a state of depression. I hated myself; the way I looked, the way I talked, everything. I was bullied and this caused me to be insecure about every little part of myself.

The thing I hated most about myself would have to be without a doubt my nose. My classmates thought it looked like a pig. And to mock me, my peers would push theirs up in front of me and "oink" at me. They would blame me for spreading the swine flu and told me that they had seen my parents in the meat aisle at the grocery store. Day after day, more people would join in, including some kids that I had never seen before. They didn't even know me; but that didn't stop them from making me feel like an outcast.

I remember one day I came home from school crying. I ran straight into my room with tears in my eyes. I had never told my parents about what was happening in school. I knew there was nothing that they would be able to do, so why bother telling them? A few hours after school had ended my mother had called me down from my bedroom telling me that I had a phone call. I took the phone from her and walked into the garage. As soon as I said "Hello?" I heard pig noises from the other end of the call, and laughter in the background. I hung up the phone and broke down on the floor. My mother had heard me from inside because she had come out and tried to comfort me.

Later in the week, some girls had asked me if the rumors were true. If I was getting a nose job. I have always wanted to get one, to possibly try and stop the verbal abuse, but my parents have always opposed this. I absolutely hated my nose. I hated myself; and my peers would never let me forget it.

That year was a struggle. My very little friends that I did have would always tell me that people were just immature; that I shouldn't listen to them. But, I couldn't help it. How can you ignore something that you have to face every single day? I knew nobody was perfect. I knew that everyone had their flaws. But, I couldn't focus on anyone else's imperfections because I was too busy worrying about all of mine.

I have one word to describe my years in middle school...Hell. But high school I would describe in a completely different way...Peaceful. Only one thing really changed in that one year, but that one thing made all the difference. I started to block out all the negative energy thrown at me. Doing this, I started to be happy again.

No, the harassment never completely went away, but that doesn't stop me from keeping a smile on my face. I don't know what caused this change exactly. I didn't want to spend my high school years being miserable. No longer was I going to let people get away with making me feel like trash. I didn't react to the cruel comments that were said to me.

I started to listen to what I have been told all along. Sure, my nose was and still is a feature that I am not happy with, but I have other qualities that I am proud of. I never realized them before, because I was so caught up in wondering why I was picked on so much. It was because I let them. They saw how I reacted. They saw how miserable I felt, and it made them feel stronger.

Freshman year of high school, the names started to die down. I was generally a happy camper. I didn't listen to what anyone called me. If someone didn't like the way I looked, then that was their problem. I wasn't here to please anyone but me. And the moment I realized this, I became a lot happier.

It took a few years, but I have come to the understanding that the secret to my happiness was simple. I just needed to accept myself the way that I was. So now when I look back, I would know how to answer those past questions. I would say that I was disgusted with how I looked, but I'm not anymore. And from that, no matter what happens, at least I can say that I am happy.

Let me know what you guys thought of it. I got a 95 on the essay which I was pretty proud of. I actually turned in my biggest insecurity as a grade to my teacher.... wow. Looking back, I can't believe I did that, but I couldn't be more glad that I did.

~Audrey