Gone

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen:

Once I got back to dad's, I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. Had I floated? My mind was so high in the clouds I couldn't focus on anything particular. I kept replaying my kiss with Lily in my head over and over again, unable to get enough.

The only reason I'd left was because Kelsey called me asking if I'd heard from Holly, bring reality back into the moment. My eyes never left Lily's as she awkwardly looked at her feet and clutched at Ash's leash. "No, I haven't. Something came up, I need to go."

Then I hung up and didn't answer when she tried to call back again.

Lily invited me to a party at Jayden's house. Jayden was an old friend of mine who wasn't ever really the best influence on me. I said yes, of course, because I really wanted to spend more time with Lily.

All of the time I'd spent with her before, being her best friend then her girlfriend for so long, I didn't realize how much I missed it. How much I missed her. It was like I was getting swept back up into how it was before. Before I moved, before I met Holly, before we argued, it was like I'd been thrown back in time.

"Where have you been?" Chris asked me when I walked through the door, straight into the living room, "Dad's pissed with you." He was sitting on the floor by the coffee table and eating his Chinese food that must have shown up while I was off making out with my ex.

I shook my head, "Nowhere."

Holly suddenly popped up in my head, making me feel guilty. Why am I guilty? Its not like I'm dating Holly.

I rubbed my eyes and walked back to my room, remembering Kelsey calling me and asking me if I knew where Holly was. Maybe I should try to call her back? I pulled out my phone and headed through the kitchen, on my way to my room.

But it was not meant to be that I would be able to ignore my dad or avoid him with how small the house was. Dad was leaning with his back to me, drinking what looked like a shot. Oh yay, he's getting drunk, I thought sarcastically, even though a jolt of fear made my heart speed up. When dad was drunk....he didn't make very good decisions. He never has even when he's been sober, so being drunk would be worse.

I tried to ninja past him but he turned around right when I got past the threshold of the hallway. "Ash! Where have you been?" I winced mentally and slowly turned around to face him.

"I went for a walk."

"Ashlynn, you don't speak to me the way you did, understand? I may have made mistakes, but I'm trying to become a better person now." His voice was slurred, I didn't know how much he'd had to drink in the last hour. It was obviously a lot by the way he stumbled over to me on unsteady feet. The liqour he drinks is strong, I'd know, I've had it before.

"Got it, Dad." I averted my eyes to my shoes and leaned against the threshold of the door, almost to my room but not close enough. It was bittersweet.

"No, I don't think you do," he grabbed one of my crossed arms and jerked me towards him.

I winces and fell into his chest and he grabbed onto my other arm, holding me tightly.

"You don't talk to me like I'm less than you, I'm your father and you need to treat me with some respect." He growled at him, I could see his bloodshot eyes and smell the alcohol on his breath.

I kept quiet, knowing from experience not to fuel his fire. After a minute of an intense stare down, he might have been stronger than be but I could defy him in my own way, he pushed me away and I hit my head against the wall.

"Get your food and go to your room, I don't want to see you for the rest of the night."

I stayed silent and quickly grabbed my things, knowing that I'd probably have to sneak out of my window to go to the party tonight. It wasn't anything new to me, I'd sneaked out multiple times when my parents were together. Whether it was to see Lily or go to some party with whoever I pleased and get as drunk as I possibly could so I was able to block out all of the shit that was in my life at the time. I guess, I was a teenage alcoholic at the time.