Gone

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen:

I didn't want to call Ash, especially what I'd learned from the night before, but I couldn't think of anyone else to call. The night before had been hard, I'd been driving down to the beach, wanting an explanation for what was going on.

Finally, I'd called Ash and decided I needed an explanation from her, since Kirsten was her sister. What'd I'd found out didn't make me feel very good.

When I went back home my dad was passed out on the couch, smelling of alcohol and smoke, what kind of smoke I wasn't sure. He'd been into drugs ever since mom passed away, I wanted to do something about it, but there really wasn't much I could do, so I tried to let it be and ignore it.

I quickly ran up to my room and glanced around, trying to think about something other than Aaron, Kirsten or Ash. To keep my mind busy I decided to clean up my floor because I could barely walk through it without tripping or stumbling over something that didn't even need to be there.

It wasn't fair though; for Ash not to tell me. It wasn't fair for Aaron to cheat on me either and I didn't understand why it hurt more with Ash than him.

I'd known Aaron longer and yet it was tearing me up inside that Ash didn't tell me anything, that she let me go along. Why would she do that? Why did I feel like that?

Finally, after putting all of my dirty clothes in the laundry I let myself think back on something I promised to forget. That kiss.

I remembered it pretty well, maybe too well because I dreamt about it sometimes. I hate to admit that, but I did and when I woke up sometimes, I miss it. Sometimes I wish of Ash's lips on mine and it scares me. I've been able to keep it to myself and try my hardest not to act weird around Ash. But that still doesn't explain why I felt so hurt.

I didn't have much more time to think about it when I heard a yell from downstairs and a loud crash.

My heart jumped in my chest and I quickly got to my feet. I rushed to the door and opened it, "Dad?" I shouted down the hallway. 

"Holland! Where's dinner?" He shouted up the stairs. It sent a chill down my spine, the anger in his voice. Could he really be angry about that? Or just drunk?

"I-I didn't make any, dad." I called back in a small voice, unsure if he could even hear me. Then I heard shoes pounding up the stairs until my father stood right in front of me, towering over me and glaring. 

He didn't say anything, just stared at me with bloodshot, murderous eyes. I took a step back, intimidated by his closeness. I was anticipating him hitting me again and the thought scared me. My heart pounded in my chest, worse than when Ash had kissed me that one time.

"You live in my house, I pay for everything for you and you don't make me dinner?" He asked in a calm, low voice. What was he saying? I lived here, yes, but he didn't pay for anything of mine except for the house and the groceries. 

"I-I'm sorry." I mumbled in a high squeaky voice, taking another step away from him.

"Sorry, isn't going to cut it," he grabbed my arm and yanked me back towards him roughly. I could feel his hand crushing my bones and I made a painful whimpering noise and tried to pull away a little, he was going to leave a bruise.

"What do you want me to do, dad?" I asked. I was too afraid to look into his eyes and see the pure rage, so I stared at his shirt, which was right in front of me. I was only up to my father's chest when it came to height, so I felt like a small ragdoll in his hands. He could snap me like a toothpick if he wanted to. 

"I want you to know that I'm your father and that you have to do as I say. If I say to make me dinner, you better remember to and do it.  Don't be stupid like you always are and forget." He pushed me into the wall. 

"I'm sorry, daddy." I mumbled, unsure of what else I should say.

He pulled his hand back and I winced, looking away and closing my eyes. I felt a sudden sharp pain on my left cheek and my head snapped to the side. He'd slapped me. My father slapped me. Tears shot to my eyes as a hot pain welled up in my cheek. Ouch.

My dad pulled me away from the wall and pushed me into my bedroom like I was a piece of trash getting thrown into a trashcan. I held my hand to my heating cheek and felt tears spill down my face.  I stumbled to my bed and curled myself up on the edge, crying softly.

That night, I cried myself to sleep and woke up early the next day. My mind was muddled from sleep, so I couldn't remember what had happened the night before until I stumbled into the bathroom to see puffy blood-shot eyes and a swollen red hand-shaped mark on my left cheek.

I broke down again, remembering what my dad did to me. I wanted someone to hold me and hug me and tell me that everything was going to be alright, but nobody could because I didn't have anyone that cared enough. 

My throat got raw with the sobbing noises I was making and I curled up in the corner next to the bathtub. When I finally sobered down from ym hysterical crying, I wiped my eyes on my shirt, washed my face and brushed my hair. I wasn't going to let it bother me.

I need Ash, a small voice said in the back of my mind, she'll help me. I pushed it back though, I didn't need Ash, I trusted her and she'd broken that trust. She wasn't my true friend at all, she didn't truly care about me. But you need her.

I groaned audibly in frustration at the voice in my head. With the unstable state that I was in at that moment, I wasn't thinking straight and had no good argument for the stupid irrational voice. I went back to my room and called Ash without a second thought. 

Well, I have to say thank you for bearing with me. I know it's been awhile but my schooling has gotten a lot faster and I have to keep up with all of the 3 day projects that I've gotta do. I'm going to finish this story, then edit it as best as I can. So if I could get feedback that would be great. I wanna know what I should change. Maybe the characters? Maybe a scene? Honestly, please let me know and it's not that hard to leave a quick comment so I know I have readers. And if you have time to comment you have time to vote!

Nina~TinkerNinjaCorn

PS What do you think of my new name?