doors; yoongi

seven

june 12th

10:03am

the thing is, when you live alone the last thing you'd expect to wake up to is the smell of something burning. besides that, it was the worst, most terrifying thing. but the burning smell kicki followed that morning was something familiar. she stumbled over her feet, her eyes still half closed as she entered the kitchen in panic, her face scrunching up. yoongi looked at her with a guilty expression, the smoke still steaming from the small pot in his hand.

there was a complete silence for a few moments before the pot hit the counter with the loud thud and yoongi shook his palm violently.

''what the actual fuck are you doing?'' kicki screeched, taking a few steps across the kitchen and taking his hand, examining the small reddening spot.

''yoongi, did you manage to fuck up preparing oatmeal?'' she asked, giving him a look as he shook his hand, glaring at the pot.

''it's not my fault, it's your stupid stove.'' he said in defense. ''i was just trying to do something nice.''

kicki let out a sigh, running a hand through her hair and motioning with her head for yoongi to sit down on one of the chairs. ''you have to have knowledge with this stove. it's pretty old.'' she shrugged, turning the temperature down and pouring some fresh oats in the pan. 

''i'm sorry we had to get rid of your hard work but we really don't need food poisoning.'' she grinned as she turned back to yoongi.

he narrowed his eyes at kicki playfully, his mouth forming a small pout as he took a seat on one of the chairs, crossing his arms over his chest. in kicki's opinion he looked like a toddler who has just been banned from candy but she didn't comment on it.

it was still quiet as she placed down the two bowls of oatmeal on the table, taking her seat across from yoongi. he eyed the poor arrangement of bananas on top of the meal, looking at kicki as he bowed slightly.

''i would've forgotten the bananas.'' he said once they started eating, making kicki chuckle around a mouthful of food.

''yeah that would be the problem. along with the burnt food.'' she smirked as yoongi narrowed his eyes once again.

but it wasn't until kicki was cleaning around the living room, folding the blankets that were set out for yoongi and he came back from the bathroom that they addressed the previous night.

''sorry for putting you through all this trouble.'' it was yoongi, of course, who spoke first. always apologizing and trying to keep his voice as casual as possible but his eyes always showed guilt.

''i think we moved past all of the apologies a while ago.'' kicki sighed as he moved over to help her with the blankets, a frown on his face.

''this door is always open for you.'' she continued as yoongi opened his mouth to speak, taking the blanket from him and going to put them away in her room.

''but,'' kicki started as she came beck to the living room, leaning on the door frame, her eyes fixed on yoongi who was now sitting down. ''that doesn't mean that i fully support your actions. major reason for that is because i don't know what's happening half the time. and i don't wanna support you if what you're doing is hurting yeeun.''

yoongi nodded, his eyes fixated on his hands. he seemed really small but at the same time it looked like he had so much to say, just waiting for it to start pouring out of him. but he struggled and he wouldn't open his mouth, pushing all the words back.

''yoongi.'' kicki called out, her voice making him pull out of his thoughts and look up, only to find that she was sitting next to him now. ''talk to me. please.''

''it's just-'' he starts, his voice immediately frustrated as he struggles to find the right words but kicki just nods, encouraging him to continue.

''it's a lot, you know? there's so much happening in both of our lives right now and it's causing so much stress and misunderstandings and fights.'' he let the words flow out, leaning back on the couch. ''and it sucks, because we've known each other for such a long time. we make each other happy. she makes me really happy. and when i see her hurting because of me, it just-''

he takes a deep breath to steady his voice. ''she probably feels that way too, seeing me hurt. so we decided to take a break, or, roughly put, break up. just to try and focus of improving our lives and dealing with our problems before we even try to give it another chance.''

yoongi runs a hand through his already messy hair as he takes a deep breath and kicki's hand finds it's way to his, giving it a small squeeze, pulling him out of this thoughts and the self-pity he was drowning into once again.

''i know there's still hope for us but it hurts despite it.''

when he finally looked at her, kicki gave him a small smile which he didn't have the energy to return but kicki didn't mind. it was enough for her that he opened up and shared his thoughts and feelings.

''you should let it hurt.'' kicki said, getting his full attention. ''you should let how you feel help you improve and solve whatever is going on. so don't beat yourself up over this.''

yoongi fell silent, his gaze drifting back to his lap, his features softening a bit. if anything, he looked a tiny bit relieved, the frown on his face disappearing. and kicki was glad, she really was. frowning didn't suit him well and this is as close as she'll get to smiling at this moment but at least she's a step closer. and even though she knew she won't crucial step to yoongi's happiness, it was nice.

''come one, sulky.'' kicki stood up after a few moments of comfortable silence they used to just think, nudging yoongi's leg with her own. ''i have places to go and people to meet. and you have to get yourself some ice cream.''

''you know, i'm not gonna pull a 'girl from a chick flick suffering from unrequited love and eating ice cream' move.'' yoongi said as he followed after kicki to her hallway.

she laughed, halfheartedly, as she handed him his jacket. ''no, you're gonna do worse than that.''

yoongi pouted as he slipped on his shoes and fixed his hair a bit. ''i'll ignore what you just said. but apart from that, thank you.''

kicki nodded with a smile forming on her lips. ''call if you need anything and take care of yourself, okay?''

''why are you always the one saying that?''

''because you're unstable.''

''i'll ignore this one too.'' he said, giving kicki a playful glare as he opened the door.

''of course you will.'' he turned back and gave her a hug before waving one last time and hurriedly making his way to through the hallway and down the staircase and kicki closed the door once she lost his faded mint hair out of sight.

she let out a sigh as she moved to her room, getting ready for the day ahead. somewhere along the way, as she was brushing through her hair and lifting  it up in a ponytail, she couldn't help but understand what yoongi meant when he said that seeing yeeun hurt, hurt him as well.