I Hope You Don't Regret Me (sequel to Bedless) | kellic (boyxboy)

two

"Thanks for asking me to hang out, guys. I had a great time." I smiled.

"No problem, Kelly!" Tierra smiled back. It hadn't taken her long to come out of her shell.

"Bye, Kellin." Luna said softly.

"Bye!" Alexis and Woon exclaimed in unison.

I waved to the four girls and entered my room. I plopped down on my bed and thought about my day. It was a good one. Although, I had been thinking about Vic all day. I just wish one day he'd find me and take me home. I just wanted to be loved.

A few minutes later, Jenna entered the room. "Did you have fun?" She asked.

"Yeah, actually. Thank you for letting me go out." I said with a smile.

"Of course." She smiled back. "I know we agreed on talking today, but you seem tired. I'll let you get some rest and then we can talk tomorrow."

"Okay." I agreed before she left my room and quietly closed the door.

°

The next day, Jenna came in just like she said she would. "I want you to try eating today, okay?"

"Vic wouldn't want that." I admitted.

"I know, sweetheart, but he's not here right now. I need you to be strong for yourself, not weak for Vic." She told me sadly.

"Okay." I sighed.

I rolled out of bed in my pajamas and left the room to the cafeteria. I ate small bowl of cereal and thought about what a perfect day with Vic would be like. I missed him so much. There were certain days that his absence really hurt me, and this was one of them. Days like this, I didn't even care about how much he had hurt me. I just wanted him back. I didn't care how hard he'd beat me for leaving, I just wanted to feel his touch on my skin one more time. I can't believe I let that all go.

It was such a mistake to leave him. Shit, I was a mistake in general. Vic used to tell me all the time. He was right.

"You okay?" A voice asked. I turned to see that it was Luna.

"Oh. hey, Luna. Yeah, I'm alright." I replied, plastering a fake smile on my lips.

"No you aren't." She spoke. "None of us are okay, and that's okay."

"You're right." I looked away.

"Look, I gotta go, but I really hope you feel better." She frowned.

"See ya." I said softly with a light wave as she left.

I was supposed to come back to my room when I was finished eating, but I simply did not have the energy anymore. I sat in the same spot for at least three hours. Jenna was waiting for me, I knew she was. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard her voice approach me.

"Kellin..." She started.

I looked at her sadly, no emotion in my eyes.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. You're gonna be okay." She pulled me into a tight hug.

"I miss him so much." I sobbed.

"I know, I know. You have to understand that if it's mean to be, he will come back. I promise. But if he doesn't change, then you won't see him again. I hope he changes, Kellin. I hope you get him back. I really do." She told me.

"He won't come back." I cried. I didn't believe that he'd ever change for me. I wanted him to, but I knew it wouldn't happen.

"If he doesn't, then that's okay. Not everyone you lose is a loss. Kellin, he painted you black when you were gold. Now you just have to find the gold inside yourself and get a new paint job." She smiled.

I nodded and wiped the tears off my face.

"I just hope it gets better."

"It will."

°

"You fucking disgrace!" He yelled.

"Please, don't hit me! I thought you loved me! I thought you changed!" I cried out to the man in front of me.

He proceeded to hit me and bruise me.

I woke up from the painful dream with tears rolling down my cheeks. I hated feeling like this. Being unloved killed me.

I was still in the stupid seat of the cafeteria and my head hurt so bad, you would've thought I had a hangover. I stood up and walked back to my room, pulling out my phone to see the time. It was 9:45 pm. I slept all day. Why didn't anyone wake me up? Was I really that worthless?

Tears brimmed in my eyes for the third time that day as I laid down for bed. I felt sweaty and gross, but I was so tired. Perhaps, I'd shower the next day.

°
"I love you, too, Kell." He smiled.

"I'm sorry for leaving." I spoke.

"Don't be. I understand." He said, kissing my forehead.

"Would you ever hit me again?" I asked.

My boyfriend stood in front of me and looked me in the eye.

"I'm not the Vic I used to be. I'm a new person. I'd never do that to you, Kellin. I love you." He admitted.

°
I woke up, sobbing once again. All I had ever wanted was for Vic to love me. Nobody else would compare to the love Vic could've provided me. Nobody.

I just wanted his kisses to be sweet instead of rough. I wanted his hands to graze my body rather than bruise it. I wanted him to play with my hair instead of pulling it. If we were to have sex, it should've actually meant something to both of us. The entire relationship should've actually meant something to both of us.

A knock was heard on my door. I was much too tired to get up so I ignored it. I thought the person would have left, but that didn't happen. Alexis walked in the door with a bright smile. I wish I could smile like that.

"Why are you here?" I asked bluntly, thinking out loud.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just-" She started to back away.

"No, I mean why are you here at the facility? You seem so...happy." I said.

"I'm not always like this." She started, sitting down. "I have a borderline personality disorder. My emotions are totally out of hand. Whatever I'm feeling, I'm feeling it 110%. If I'm mad, I'm overly mad. If I'm happy, I'm a little too happy. Get what I mean?"

"Yeah. I guess that makes sense." I told her.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"Ex-partner abused me. He just didn't love me, I guess. I'm just kinda depressed because of the whole thing." I explained.

"Oh." She said, softly. "I'm really sorry, Kells.

"It's okay." I told her. My eyes began watering, knowing fully well that it wasn't okay.

My emotions were over the roof today and I think Alexis could tell, so she told me goodbye and left me with my thoughts. I decided to take a shower.

I didn't even bother to remove my clothes as I stepped into the warm water. Every bad thought I had ever had came down on me. I fell on to my knees as I sobbed. I needed to wash myself from the depressing thoughts my mind held. I needed to let go. I needed to scream at the top of my lungs.

"Why the fuck am I falling apart?" I cried, letting the water pour over me.

°
This is gross lol. Hope you got the whole reference btw

Love,
Kellin