My Beautiful One

7. Marry me, Herondale

"Say it." He growled, tightening his grip on my arm.

"I... I can't" I sobbed. I just couldn't force the words out; the lie choked my throat.

"You know what will happen if you don't..."

I looked up at the hatch above me. One tug on the rope, and the doors would open, freeing a mass of iron powder that would land on me and scorch my skin.

Valentine would kill me if I didn't lie.

"I..."

"Yes?"

"Have..." Tears were beginning to smart in my eyes, and I trembled with the exertion it took to speak.

"Go on."

"No soul." I gasped finally, and my captor let me go. The absence of his firm grip on me made my exhausted body give out, and I collapsed onto my hands and knees, crying.

"Revolting creature." I heard Valentine scoff, and the last thing I saw was his hand pulling hard on the rope, and then a glimmering cloud of silver.

Then nothing.

I gasped, jerking upright and gripping the sheets on either side of me.

Just a dream, Amari, just a dream... I tried to reassure myself, pushing hair out of my face and trying to breathe slowly.

Just a dream...

"No." I said quietly to myself. "Not a dream. A memory."

"That was a memory?!" Said an astounded voice from the other side of the room.

It might have been the darkness in the room. It might have been the dream. It might have been my natural defensive reflexes, but the moment I heard the voice, I grabbed a knife from my bedside table and hurled it in the direction of the voice.

I heard a thunk of impact, a sharp intake of breath, and then: "By the Angel."

A familiar voice. Jace's voice.

I sighed and put my head in my hands, relieved, but still shaken. "What are you doing here, Jace?" I mumbled into my hands.

"I couldn't sleep, so I was wandering around the Institute, and when it sounds like somebody's crying it's kinda hard to ignore." He replied, and though it was obvious he was trying to sound casual, worry leaked out into his voice. 

I groaned and pulled the blanket right up to my chin. "You heard that?"

"Yeah." Jace said softly. "What were you remembering?"

I made a face. "Valentine. I don't want to talk about it."

"That's fine; I just wanted to give you the opportunity because not so long ago I was having bad dreams, and if I had talked to somebody about them I probably would have saved myself a lot of trouble."

"Explain?" I suggested, and gestured to the armchair by my bed. After yanking my knife out of the door, Jace complied and sat down, not looking at me, but out of the window. The moonlight sifted in through a gap in the curtains and washed his face in pale silver light, illuminating his sorrowful expression.

"While Lilith was taking over my mind I kept dreaming I was going to kill her." He said. "Clary, I mean. It seemed like you were dreaming the opposite." He looked at me seriously. "Like someone was killing you."

I glared back at him. "I said I don't want to talk about it, Jace."

He looked startled for a moment, but then gave a rueful chuckle. "You remind me too much of myself."

"Knowing how arrogant you are, I am guessing that's a complement." I said as I walked with Jace across the room to the door again, still wrapped in my duvet. When we reached the door Jace opened it, but then stopped, his serious expression making a reappearance. "You're sure you'll be okay?"

"I'm a big girl, I can handle a few nightmares. Now go back to bed or I'll be cranky in the morning, and you sure as heck don't want to see a cranky Amari." I said, trying to sound lighthearted in an attempt to lighten the situation. It worked, and Jace's smile returned.

"Can I have your opinion on something?" He asked, leaning against the door frame. If he were anybody else, I would say he looked slightly nervous, but this was Jace. Jace wouldn't be nervous if you came at him with a bulldozer.

"Okay, but then I'm going back to bed." I agreed. "Fire away."

Jace's smile widened, and he straightened up and took a step back into the hall. The soft yellow light from the witchlight lamps in the hallway turned his hair into a halo of gold. "I'm going to ask Clary to marry me." He said.

My mouth dropped open, but after a few moments my expression changed into one almost as happy as Jace's.

 "No wonder you couldn't sleep. That's one heck of a thought to mull over."

"I don't need to mull over it." Said Jace passionately. "I love her."

"Way to point out the obvious." I rolled my eyes, but half a smile still remained on my face. I was happy for Jace; the tiny spark of romantic affection I had once felt for him had died out almost as soon as it had come alive, and that was weeks ago. Jace and Clary had become just about my closest friends since then, and I couldn't think of any two people who would be happier together.

"So what do you think? Not that it would change my opinion." Jace hedged, regarding me keenly.

"I think it's a great idea, but I have two questions. One: why the rush, and two: why are you asking me instead of, say, Alec or Isabelle, or, well, Clary, since it's her who's going to marry you."

"You think she'd say yes?" The expression on his face was so hopeful and sweet it was hard for me not to just blurt out 'yes, of course!', but I had to stick to my own questions.

"That's beside the point." I snapped.

"Okay, Silverdown, keep your hair on." Jace's amber eyes glinted with amusement. "My answer to your first question: why the rush. Well, I think it all came down to the fact that we might just be facing the apocalypse, and the fact that we are going to be the first squad of Shadowhunters to take a shot at Jonathan Morgenstern means that we might be the first to go. We Shadowhunters live our lives full and fast, but this is quick, even for us. And since I want to marry her anyway..." Jace shrugged, "I just don't want to waste a day, when we could die so soon."

I nodded in agreement. "Point taken. And the next question?"

"Why you?" Jace's fair eyebrows rose to touch his tousled hairline. "I can't ask Isabelle because she would make a huge fuss and tell Clary straight away, and I can't tell Alec because he just broke up with Magnus, and you can imagine that mentioning that your relationship is so far along would be a bit of a low blow. I wanted to ask your opinion because you have none of those issues, and also you're my friend, and a wise friend at that. You don't censor what you say, and though half of what you could say could make a demon run crying to mommy, the other half is definitely worth listening to."

You're my friend. The thought made me smile.

"You know, I think it's stranger than snow in the summer that she hasn't flung herself into your arms and begged 'marry me, Herondale' already." I told him. The blazing expression on Jace's face that followed could have lit up the dark side of the moon, and I giggled. He then did something unexpected, and hugged me.

"Thanks, Amari." Jace said, and in a blur of black and gold, he was gone.

"Oh, Clary, you are in for a big surprise." I chuckled to myself as I climbed back into bed and snuggled down into the covers. No bad dreams plagued me as I slept through the rest of the night.