5sos One Shots

battle scars

Trigger warning
I know I just updated, but I'm so proud of this I couldn't wait to publish it. I'm working on a happy one shot now and a request so I'll update within this week :)

Luke swallowed thickly as he stared down at the clothes a nurse just placed in front of him. His Nirvana t-shirt, black skinnies, and a pair of his worn out Vans. He wanted to smile but couldn't. He hadn't worn anything like that is a long time, almost a year. It wasn't normal.

"Mr. Hemmings," called a nurse.

"Luke," the blonde whispered still staring down at the clothes. "Call me Luke. I've told you so many times to call me Luke."

The nurse smiled uneasily. Most patients are happy when they can finally leave the psych ward and go back to their normal lives and happy was definitely not something Nurse May would describe Luke as.

"Okay," she smiled. "Luke, why aren't you happy? Your friends are here... don't you want to see them?"

Luke shook his head, looking down at his hands. "I don't. I can't. Just... make them leave. Please make them leave." Luke was becoming frantic and Nurse May frowned. Maybe Luke wasn't ready to go home.

"Dear, your boyfriend is hear, too. Calum? They are all here. I think they would be really happy to see you."

The young nurse sat down next to Luke on his bed. She was a pretty brunette with glasses and freckles dotted her cheeks. But Luke wasn't looking at her. He was looking at his shaking hands and couldn't help but stare at his scarred over wrists.

May frowned as Luke began to trace over his scars, an old habit that they worked so hard to break. She grabbed his hand and smiled softly. "Luke? If you feel like you want to hurt yourself you aren't ready to go home. It's okay not to be ready, Luke."

Luke ripped his hand away from her and stated, "I'm not going to hurt myself. After almost killing yourself, it really opens up your eyes. I'm not going back there." Luke stared down at his promise ring, the only thing he touched from the pile of clothes. It felt nice back around his finger but it felt foreign. He read over the engraving about twenty times.

~My little penguin~

Each time he read it he read it in Calum's voice, remembering his boyfriend whispering it in his ear, the last thing he heard him say before his was trapped within these four walls. Luke bit his lip, missing the piercing that used to be there, and looked up at May. "Can you send them in here, May? I don't want to go out there."

May nodded and smiled. "Of course Luke. Don't let them pressure you into going home." With that she left and shut the door on her way out.

Twenty four seven his door was open. If it was closed, someone else was in the room with him. It was to make sure he didn't hurt himself and someone was always keeping an eye on him. Luke was one of the most suicidal people the hospital has dealt with. He tried to commit suicide three times since his arrival at the time. Twice in the bathroom when a guard was standing outside and once when Luke just went nuts and stabbed himself with his therapists pencil.

Being alone for the first time in months with no prying eyes to watch over him, his brain couldn't help but make his thoughts wander to the multiple ways he could kill himself right now. He could untie his shoelaces and hang himself or suffocate himself. He could suffocate himself with the pillow. How long would that take?

Luke was sure he would've tried something but May entered the room with Ashton and Michael. They looked so different. It hasn't even been a year, but they looked different. Ashton was 22. Michael was 21 and now had red hair, Luke's favorite. Michael looked skinnier but healthy. Ashton looked even more muscular than he had before, if that was possible. The biggest thing Luke noticed was the tired bags and tears under their eyes.