White Rabbit

A Race With Too Many Winners

Alice stared around at all the animals and Byrds. She wondered how a dry story could dry them off. That sounded silly.
"Four and twenty years ago..."
Alice started laughing as she recognized the words as lyrics to a song. The mouse gave her a dirty look and continued. "There was a drought that until just now was on the land. I was a young mouse then."
Alice frowned as she thought about how mice didn't live for twenty-four years.
"It was a hot day when I went to look for some water to quench my thirst," The mouse said.
Alice was starting to get thirsty. This really was a dry story. The other animals were having the same reaction to the story. One Byrd, the one with David Crosby's face, was licking his lips. Alice thought it was funny that he didn't have a beak like a normal bird, just a fat pigeon body.
"This isn't working!" The Byrd that looked like Gene Clark exclaimed.
The Byrd that looked like Roger McGuinn thought for a moment. "The only way for us to get dry is to hold a Caucus-race," He said.
There was silence and as if Roger was waiting for someone to ask. Alice took a deep breath. "What's a Caucus-race?" She asked.
Roger smiled and looked over at the other Byrds. "Why don't we show you?" He said. "One, two, three, and away!"
All the Byrds and things started off except for a few who just wanted to walk. Alice found herself walking beside the Byrd resembling David Crosby. He smiled at her.
"Isn't it silly that they all go off and run," He commented.
Alice shrugged her shoulders. "I've never been one for running, but maybe they enjoy it," She said.
David smiled. "I can't imagine anyone enjoying running," He said.
"I know a few people that run track that really actually like it," Alice said.
David shook his head. "They sound like stupid people," He said.
"I wouldn't say they're stupid just different," Alice said.
"Then you must be stupid," David quipped.
Alice frowned at him. "If you keep that attitude you won't have any friends at all," She said running off away from him.
When Alice was a good ways away from David she started walking leisurely. She couldn't help, but notice that it was a very nice day. She heard an awful huffing and puffing and then David was running back towards her. Alice put her hands on her hips. He stopped beside her and grinned slightly.
"I'm sorry I called you stupid," David said. "Let's..."
"The race is over!" Roger shouted.
David glared at the other Byrd. "That big Dodo!" He exclaimed as they all started walking back over to the Byrd.
Everyone wanted to know who won so Roger sat thinking and thinking and glancing around at everyone. "Everybody, I suppose," He said.
Then they all started chanting about who was going to give the prizes. Roger glanced around and his eyes stopped on Alice. "She will," He said.
Alice's brow furrowed. All the animals and Byrds circled around Alice. She looked in her pockets and found a box of mints that was still sealed. She dealt them out and found herself one short when she got to David. She shrugged.
"Have you got anything for me?" He asked smiling.
"'Fraid not," Alice said. She stuck her hand into her pocket and tried to find something. All she found was a thimble and a button. She handed him the button with a little sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, but this is all I've got," She said.
David took the button and looked at it all funny. "I really rather something else," He said cocking his head slightly.
"Do you want this thimble?" Alice asked.
David smiled. "I think, I'll stay with the button if it's between those choices," He said. "What'll be your prize?"
Roger looked over and nodded his head. "What've you still got?" He asked.
"Just this thimble," Alice said.
"Give it here," Roger said.
Alice handed it to the Byrd. Roger did this silly little bow thing and handed the thimble back to her. It was all she could do not to laugh.
Then all the animals began to talk among themselves the mouse that looked like Joan Baez was speaking to another mouse that looked like Bob Dylan. Alice was getting bored so she wandered off. As she got further away she heard some scrapey little steps behind her. She looked back behind her and saw that David was following behind her.
"Where are you going?" He asked smiling at her.
Alice shrugged. "Home, I suppose," She said.
"Where's home?" David asked.
Alice noticed he wasn't a Byrd anymore, just a funny man in a fringe jacket.
"I don't really know for sure," Alice said shrugging. "What about you then?"
"Nowhere really," David replied.
Alice rolled her eyes. "How can it be nowhere?" She asked as she looked around at the tall trees that surrounded her.
"It's someplace sometimes, and nowhere other times," David replied smiling.
Alice opened her mouth the say that everything he was saying was crazy, but he cut her off.
"Can you hear the whispers of the trees?" David asked.
Alice listened and listened, but she couldn't hear anything. "I don't hear anything," She said.
"My ear must be better than yours," David said.
"Must be," Alice said wiping some sweat from her forehead as she noticed that it was very hot. Her skin felt sweaty and sticky. David looked like he had no problem with the heat despite wearing a long-sleeved, suede, fringe jacket.
"How are you not hot?" Alice asked.
"If you're hot put on more clothing," David said.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Putting more clothes on will make more hot," She said.
David rolled his eyes. "That's silly. Try it. Look there's a jacket right there," He said.
Alice looked at the jacket. It was a nice jacket, it looked like it was fake blue leather, but it would to clash with her outfit seeing as she was already wearing that same shade of blue. "That wouldn't look good on me," She said shaking her head at the jacket.
"Black goes with everything," David said picking up the jacket and putting it on her. Sure enough it was black.
Somehow the jacket did make her cold. She began to shiver. "Why am I so cold?" She asked teeth chattering.
"Maybe we should find you a thinner jacket..." David said taking the jacket off of Alice.
Alice began to sweat again. She saw a white sweater and put it on. Then it felt cooler. A lot cooler. "That's much better," She said.
David smiled.
"Oh! I'm late! The Duchess will whip me for certain!" Came a voice which Alice turned towards. It was that same white rabbit! And this time he was still John Lennon, though an older version this time.