White Rabbit

Alice Meets a Caterpillar and Sees the Byrd Again

Alice stared into the eyes of the Caterpillar not exactly understanding the question at all. Who was she? She must have a name. You can hardly go anywhere without one, but no matter how hard she thought she couldn't place her finger on it. Which was a rather silly thought because you can't actually put your finger on a name unless you write it down first, but you would need a name to do that.
"Who are you?" The Caterpillar asked getting very irritated.
Alice noticed that the Caterpillar very much resembled Little Richard. She held back a laugh that was threatening to slip from her lips.
"Well I'm not certain what my name is..."
"You must be somebody," snapped the Caterpillar.
"If you've changed as much as I have today you'd be confused about who you are like I am," Alice snapped back.
"No."
Alice stared at the Caterpillar. Her brow furrowed. "I just want to be back to my original height. Three inches is much too small for me," She said.
"Three inches is a perfect height," The Caterpillar said indignantly.
"Maybe for a caterpillar, but not for a human girl like me," Alice said annoyed.
"No," The Caterpillar huffed.
Alice rolled her eyes and turned to leave. She didn't have time to be wasting on this silly Caterpillar. The Caterpillar let out a huge puff of smoke from his hookah. Alice's head began to spin. Whatever was in that smoke it made Alice feel incredibly good. She turned around. Her hands were shaking nervously.
"Can I try some of that?" Alice asked.
The Caterpillar stared at her surprised. "No! By all means no. A little girl like you can't be trying something as potent as this!"
"Oh come on! I've had a very bad day. I gotta have something," Alice begged.
The Caterpillar frowned. "Eat some of my mushroom."
"Beg your pardon?" Alice said.
"No you can't. Take some of the mushroom. One side will make you larger and the other will make you smaller."
Alice stared at the mushroom the Caterpillar was sitting on. She frowned and walked around it a few times. She broke one piece off then went to the other side and broke off another piece. She looked at the two pieces trying to see if there was any indication which would make her bigger or smaller.
There wasn't any.
Alice figured what the hell and took a nibble of one of the sides of mushroom. She shot towards the ground and feared her head might hit her feet and then she'd be done for, but thankfully Alice's head didn't hit her toes. She took a bite out of the other mushroom and shot back up too quickly. Her head was in the trees much to her surprise and fear.
Alice could no longer see her hands and that bothered her greatly. She shook her hand with the shrinking mushroom and leaned her head towards it as it was very far away. As she neared it she came face to face with the same David Crosby pigeon. At the sight of her neck the Byrd screamed.
"Serpent!" He exclaimed flapping his little wings around.
"I'm not a serpent!" Alice exclaimed.
"How can I know you're not a serpent?!" David asked excitedly.
"I wasn't a serpent before so I mustn't be a serpent now!" Alice shouted at the Byrd becoming quite upset.
David stared at Alice then smiled. "Oh it's only you," He said recognizing Alice's face.
"Where did you go when I saw the white rabbit?" Alice asked.
David blinked. "What white rabbit?" He asked.
"The one that called me Yoko," Alice replied.
David shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Alice frowned and tried for her hand again to get to the piece of mushroom. Talking with David was all well and good, but her neck was starting to hurt and she wanted to be her normal size again.
Alice took a bite of the one that would make her smaller, and once she was not so huge she took nibbles of both pieces of mushroom one at a time until she was nine inches tall. David joined her on the ground. She was by this time about twice as big as the Byrd. He stared at her for a few moments.
"Why Alice, you've grown," David said.
Alice shrugged and looked down at herself. "I suppose I have," She said.
"Would you like to visit the Duchess with me?" David asked smiling very politely.
Alice had nothing better to do. She still didn't know how to get home, and there was always the off handed chance that maybe the Duchess would tell her a way to get home. "Well, show me the way."