The Red Shadow (TMNT)

A Different Being

Raph's POV

I sat in the alley for at least half an hour before I found the courage to go home. I fought myself so hard to not burst back into Addy's apartment, but I loved her too much to keep putting her in danger. My lifestyle is too brutish and deadly to keep her in it. The incident with Shredder was bound to be repeated and I couldn't insure that I could save her again.

"It's time to do what I do best," he said standing up. "The needs of the many outweigh my own selfish needs, I need to be strong," he growled at himself.

No matter what I did, or how many bad guys I put down, I could never feel completely satisfied without Addy next to me; I wasn't even half of myself; I was nothing without her.

Back to Normal Story Mode

He reached the lair and Mikey was still up playing Galaga.

"Hey, bro!" He shouted. "How'd it go with Addy?"

Raph didn't even look at him, much less respond; hearing her name sank him deeper into his pool of depression.

"Raph?" He questioned, turning around, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, okay!" He snapped. "Can't you guys just leave me alone for 5 minutes!"

He looked up at Mikey who had a shocked, saddened look on his face, and Mikey just turned around and went to bed.

"Wait, Mikey!" He pleaded.

Mikey kept walking, he didn't wanna talk to Raph right now.

"Gahh," he screamed and pushed his weight bench over; picking up free weights and throwing them across the room. "Why, Raph, why do you know exactly what to do to push people away from you, huh?"

Leo heard all the noise and came running into the common room.

"Raph! What the hell are you doing!?" It's 1 A.M.!" He yelled.

"Go back to bed, Leo, before I push you away too." He sighed.

"Is this about Addy?" He asked quietly. "I knew this conversation would come sooner or later." "You're confused about your path."

"Yeah, yeah, I don't wanna bother you with it. It's not your business anyway." He growled.

"You're my brother, so it is my business." "You need to work with me; start letting people help you for a change." He said in a calm manner.

Those words struck him hard. It was the same thing he told Addy the night they met.

Raphs face softened and he sat down on the couch and Leo sat next to him; putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Believe it or not, I know what you're going through," Leo said, and Raph let out a snicker, but Leo ignored it.

"I am constantly being combated with decisions. It's who I am as a leader; it comes with the job, it's inevitable."

"I have had to make unimaginable decisions for this team. Choices that I doubted; that I still doubt. But I can't dwell in the past Raph; I can't let the past dictate my future." "And you, he said staring at him, you can always make the choice to do what your heart is telling you."

Raph was just sitting there listening to Leo and for once he took his advice. Raph just looked at Leo and smiled and said, "Thanks, bro, you guys are always around to help me; even when I don't want help; which is most of the time," he laughed slightly.

Leo patted his shoulder and said, "Anytime bro, goodnight; I hope you find what you're looking for."

Raph was left on the couch to contemplate his future. He wasn't ready to commit to a decision just yet; he needed to see Addy again to come to a conclusion.