Heaven Or Hell?

Funeral or Dance?

i know its crazy my boyfriend only died two weeks ago and i'm already thinking about going to a dance with someone other than John but Kyle.

i couldnt believe my mind and heart were trying to choose between John and Kyle! I love John and wouldntmiss his funeral for the world! but i'm not just gonna stand-up Kyle! I'm not that kind of girl! But something happend Kyle talked to me again! its hard to explain the conversation. well it went like this.

"Kaciwait up!" "oh hey Kyle whats up!" "are we still up for tonight" "Yeah totally but i might be late so i'll meet you there" "Alright see you there cant wait" "Okay Good-Bye"

i keep thinking how i'm gonna feel when i show up at his funeral. Will i be sad? will anyone know who i am?

clothes plan: black lace dress, black high heels, my hair in a bun with a black flower in my hair, and a rose to put on his coffin. Knowing that i'll see him again but he wont be able to look at me or speak to me hurts me the most.

On the way there i just got out of my car and Kyle was at the park across the street i looked at him wondering if he saw me and hoping he didnt. That was the wrong thing to do cause he didnt see me until i looked at him! I ran to where the funeral was taking place he caught me he was dressed in a Tuxedo, hair brushed he looked good.

"Kaci? what are you doing here?" "i'm going to a funeral" "oh me too my uncle passed away how about you?" i stuttered for a moment wondering if i should tell him the truth until i spit it out "my boyfriends" when i said this a shocked face ran across his face "Kacii'm...." i cutt him off "i should be getting to the funeral, see you tonight" "Kaci, you dont have to go" "its okay i want too, i'll see you later" after i said this i practically ran away

As soon as i reached a chair at Johns funeral a man said "ah there she is" "excuse me?" "your were Johns girlfriend Kaciright?" "Yes i'm suprised he even mentioned me" "yea he did a lot actually and he left you some of his stuff and a letter" "oh i dont need to take them if you dont.." he cutt me off "no he wanted you to have them, here" he handed me a box of stuff and a piece of paper. "thank you" " your welcome oh and he really did love you Kaci Stackhouse"

His mother i assumed saw me and practically jumped out of her chair saying "Hello KaciDear!" " Hello M'am" "So your his dream girl he always talked about!" " it sure sounds that way" "oh he went around writting songs about you and he was conviced that you were the one" " the one for what?" "oh your so funny the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with of corse not that it's matters anymore but still" " M'am i am so sorry" "Yeah we all are, well the funeral is going to start i better take my seat and your the widow so you belong in the front with us common"

i followed her it looked like they were expecting me they had my name written on the seat! they were a nice family. As the preacher started the ceremony with an Our Father i held tight on the box of Johns things. before i knew it everyone was walking up to the coffin paying there respects, i went up too. I held my breathe as soon as it was my turn i looked up and there he was my dead boyfriend. i started to cry as i placed my rose on top of the coffin i felt someone grip my shoulder i turned around it was his father, i smiled at him. i glanced over to the park Kyle was looking at me seeing that i was crying he smiled and waved this made me laugh i didn't know why but it did.

i lost track of time i was too busy thinking until i heard the preachor say "Kaci would you like to say a few words?" " i stood up glancing at Kyle and back at the preacher i walked up to the altar and started to speak

" i know many people here don't know who i am but just know that i was a friend" " Johns mother stood up before i could finish and said " Everyone this is Kaci she was Johns girlfriend" as she seated i smiled at her. " Thank you m'am, Anyways John and my relationship was a true fairy-tale, i didn't know if he had mentioned me to anyone but being greeted by Mr and Mrs Regan made me realize that he did more than i accepted but i a very thankful i feel very loved that he did mention me because i have mentioned him a lot too. John thought of me more then i knew i ever was he thought of me as a pretty, successful, person but i thought different but now i realize that he was right about all of it well that's all i have to say, Thank you"

Un-expectally everyone clapped. At the end of my speech it was time for the funeral to end they closed the coffin. At the end the preachor said another Our Father and shook all of our hands as we walked out. Kyle was waiting at my car. opened my trunk and put Johns stuff in as i did Kyle said "Can i pick you up at 7:00?" "Yea sure and dont laugh since its a formal dance and you have to wear a dress i'm wearing a dress and trust me i do not look good in a dress i'm so not a dress person" "Haha dont worry i wont laugh see you at 7:00 Kaci" "Okay see you"