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5 Slumber

june 8th 2016
***

It's 8:30 pm before we arrive home from the beach. I had taken photos like my mother told me too, but more than twenty. I have a wicked sun burn all over my body and I feel lighter.

But that all comes crashing down once I log on to my social medias.

I see that somehow, Sarah's story got online. My name along with it.

My thousands of followers are all blaming me. For not knowing. Not helping.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

I slam my laptop shut and push it off my bed. I'm sobbing as I stand. But they're angry tears. I'm angry at myself for allowing myself to be happy when Sarah can never be happy again. I'm angry for forgetting about my best friend. I'm angry for allowing myself to feel anything other than crushing sadness.

I rip my pictures off my walls and slam things and fall to the ground with exhaustion. Everything is ruined. I am ruined.
(Trigger warning)
My parents rush up the stairs after they hear the noise but I don't answer the door.

I can't do this.

I grab a shard of broken glass from my lamp.

I can't do this.

I press the shard into my wrist and slide across. It's not too deep. But deep enough. Blood flows down my hand and onto the ground.
I hear my parents asking for me to open the door.
I can't move.
I lay limp against my bed looking at a photo of Sarah.
My vision blurs. I'll finally be with my best friend again.
I hear my door smashing. My mothers scream.

I can't see.

I black out

I'm coming Sarah