Finding My Way Back to You

Happiness

James POV

Move to California? I don't know how I felt about the idea. New York is my home and I couldn't leave it.

"Dee, I know we're finally getting close again, but why move to California? Our life is here in New York."

She looked up at me.

"I just think we need to get away from here. So many problems have been caused for us. It's not healthy."

I stared out the window as she talked to me. I couldn't think of leaving New York. I love it here. I know Dee is my home, but New York is like a second one. 

"Just think about it, please."

I looked back down and smiled at her, letting her know I would ponder the idea.

-

A week had passed. Idina was constantly asking me about California, but I kept changing the subject. I finally got home one night and sat her down to talk.

"Alright, we need to just sit here and talk this all the way through."

I took her hands and looked up to her. She couldn't have looked more hopeful. I didn't want to crush her dreams. This was obviously a big decision and she made it quite clear that this is what she wanted.

"I don't want to move."

I blurted it out. I had planned to say I was willing to move, but that wasn't the truth. The truth was that I didn't want to move. I couldn't lie to her. It never ends well.

I saw her eyes begin to well up, but she held it back.

"James, I can't stay here. I need something new in my life. Something I can be happy about."

I took a step back from the table and gave her a look only she would understand.

"I didn't mean that. You know you make me happy, but-"

I questioned that. How could she say that to me?

"But? But what? Isn't that enough for you? To be happy with me? You're more than enough for me, Dee. I don't even deserve you."

I was taken back by this. I thought we were both in love and nothing meant more to us than each other, but I guess it was one sided.

"I love you. You know that, but I can't be the person you want me to be if I'm in a place where I'm not happy. New York isn't that place for me anymore. California is where I have to be.

I started walking up the stairs, but turned back around to her.

"If you have to go, then go. No one's stopping you."

Ayyyy look who's back. Haha. I just finished Summer school. So, I might be posting more often. :))