The Crystal Diaries

Gemside Out

Beware! The following is a very bad Inside Out Parody!

My name is Pearl. I live here, inside Steven's head. I get to help him by making sure he stays healthy and safe. From the first moment I saw him, I knew I could give him the best life ever.

And then Amethyst showed up.

All of a sudden, she was here, and with one one press of a button she made Steven's life dangerous!

"I'm just tryin to make his life fun!" She would protest lazily. And so, we fought. For about a month, we fought. And after that month, it got more crowded.

First, it was Sapphire.

There we were, taking a short break while Steven was taking a nap, when all of a sudden a loud noise woke him up! He started making a shrill crying sound, and the one behind it was Sapphire.

All Sapphire ever does for Steven is make him cry or make him refuse to speak to anyone. Naturally, I always try to overrule her.

And next was Ruby. Steven was listening to his father play his guitar, when he stopped and said it was nap time. Now, we've already established that naptime creates issues. But Ruby did not want Steven to take a nap.

And so, Steven screamed.

So there I was, clearly the most qualified person for the job. Don't even get me started on Peridot.

She chooses what Steven eats, wears, watches, who he likes, everything! And Amethyst calls me a control freak? I beg to differ.