Good Boy, Bad Girl

Starlight

The past few chapters have had so many timeskips... regardless, this is a short chapter, so I should have the epilogue up by tonight, and then it's over!

"How did you become best friends with Mel, anyway?"

It's May (the month, not Mel's sister) and it's about eleven o'clock at night. Angel's been staying with Lilia whilst Aunt Violet and Uncle Toby visit Lilia's grandparents, and for the past five hours we've been doing non-stop GCSE revision (I hate Year Eleven). Eventually, though, Angel snapped, and threw her revision booklets up in the air.

"They can't expect me to memorise the entire god damn periodic table without a break!" she declared and dragged me to my feet. "C'mon, Bobby, we're going stargazing!"

"Wait, what?"

Now we're laying out here on our backs on the soft grass with the universe glittering above us, like the stars are putting on a performance just for us. Angel is clearly trying to remember, and when she does she laughs. "I remember. We were in nursery, and Hope and I were painting when Mel came over to us and asked if she could borrow our paints. We said yes, but when she picked them up they spilled all over me and Hope. Mel panicked like crazy and wouldn't stop until we assured we were okay, and I guess we just sort of clicked." Angel sniggers. "Of course, it doesn't beat her reaction to when she found out you and me were a thing."

"I don't know, Jake's reaction was pretty funny."

Angel snorts. "Well, he did kind of walk in on us kissing. Why he had to wake up is beyond me."

I laugh, and then I bite my lip, debating whether or not to ask my next question before I just decide to get on with it. "Angie, can I ask you something?"

"You just did, nerd."

"You know what I mean."

"Sure, fire away."

I take back what I said a while ago about Mel. Turns out Angel also doesn't freak out when you ask her that question. Their friendship makes a lot more sense now.

"Does it ever hurt you to talk about Hope? You always do it so casually, but it must be painful, considering... you know."

Yet again, Angel is silent, clearly thinking. For a second I'm worried I've hurt her, but as she begins to speak again her hand finds mine and our fingers curl together.

"It did. It always did, for a few years. I mean, Hope was like my other half, and it wasn't even a smooth separation, she was torn away and the wound wouldn't stop bleeding. Hell, I couldn't even think about her for about a year. But... eventually, I realised that the world wouldn't wait for me. That it wouldn't help me. That my parents sure as hell weren't going to ease my suffering, and that Lilia and Mel were mourning too and that I couldn't expect them to sacrifice for me. And I realised, after a while, that Hope never was my other half, that I only ever felt she was because I never felt good enough on my own. I'm a whole person, my own person, and if I wanted to get better I was going to have to fix myself."

Angel pauses for a second and then continues. "That's what I did. I put myself back together and accepted the Hope was gone. And now I can talk about her and not let it hurt, because I know that even if I loved her and even though I still do love her, I know two things for certain - she's never coming back, and that even though she isn't coming back that doesn't mean I live my life any less efficiently. I miss her, but I can talk about and remember her without it hurting, at least not much."

I don't have any words, so I just squeeze her hand and stare up at the sky making out constellations. Cassiopeia, Orion... I'm pretty sure I can make out Taurus and Gemini, too.

The (vague) reminders of time and date remind me of something, and I decide to break the silence. "You remember what tomorrow is?"

Angel smiles. "Yep. The anniversary of me kicking Sam Thompson's ass."

"I was thinking more about your date with Mr King myself."

We both laugh, and the silence is much more comfortable once we finish, and Angel's voice is content when she speaks up again. "Thank you."

"Hm?"

"For being there." Before I can speak up, she continues. "I wasn't lying when I said I fixed myself. I did. I wasn't broken, and I haven't been since. But even though for practical uses I was as good as before, I was never really the same. I didn't fix myself correctly - I put pieces in the wrong places and it changed me. Think of it as a mosaic with a few pieces in the wrong place that damaged the whole picture's beauty. I was angrier, more likely to get into fights, and I didn't do homework and I only put effort into tests. The only thing that kept me away from bad crowds and damaging substances was the knowledge of how ashamed and disappointed Hope, Mel and Lilia would be. But then you came along, and you managed to fix me fully, and I didn't even notice. I was genuinely just curious about you when I made that deal, but as I grew closer to you, you kind of just... I don't know how to put it. It's like you put the misplaced pats of the mosaic back where they should have been. So... thank you."

"... I guess you fixed me too."

"Huh?"

"Well, maybe that's the wrong way of putting it. I guess..." I pause for a moment, thinking of an analogy. "Well, look at it this way. There was a blueprint made for me by my parents, for how I should be. But there was another blueprint, for who I really was. Jake knew about it, and he tried to follow it, and he did a great job. But my parents used their own blueprint to create me, and in the end I was a mixture of both, a mess. Then you came along, and you saw the blueprint Jake did. And I don't think you noticed either, but you managed to fix what Jake couldn't."

It's silent again once I finish, and then Angel speaks. "We're both such massive saps."

My lips curve into a smile. "Agreed."

this whole chapter is basically cheesy filler to make the story end at twenty chapters oops