Housemates

Chapter 12

“Thank you,” Ellie said, as they walked back towards the market. “For not pushing me too much. I, you know, appreciate it, even if I don’t seem like I do.”

“Nah,” Mia said. “It’s hot. Kind of. You getting all terrified.”

Ellie wasn’t sure what to make of that, so she decided to ignore it. “And thank you for what you did too,” she said, because she thought she ought to. “Um, the sex. It was good as well.”

Mia just looked at her. And grinned some more.

Ellie flushed. She felt silly. Mia was so sure of herself that Ellie always felt a little awkward around her. Especially when she was saying things like that, and Mia was reacting how she had. Ellie wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

She’d just been trying to be polite. To say she was grateful. She had, and now she felt a little stupid.

“Hey,” Mia said, after a moment. Gently, like she’d suddenly realized, and understood. “It was good, yeah? I had fun too.”

Ellie nodded, and felt less silly.

They walked a little further. Ellie was still thinking. She shifted her shopping bag to her other hand. “So you really don’t want any?” she said. “You’re actually happy with just stopping?”

“I’m fine.”

“We could go back home, if you don’t want to here?”

“Still fine,” Mia said.

“I don’t get that.”

Mia shrugged.

“You don’t secretly resent me?” Ellie said. “Like for not putting out.”

“Putting out?” Mia said.

“You know what I mean. Don’t you?”

“Honestly, it’s fine. Next time.”

Ellie thought for a moment, wondering whether to ask. Whether she should let that assumption just hang there. “So there’ll be a next time?” she said.

Mia grinned again, utterly sure of herself. “Won’t there?” she said.

Ellie flushed, and didn’t answer. Because Mia was so sure, and Ellie didn’t know what to say.

Ellie hoped yes. She thought she hoped yes. She was pretty sure she wanted a next time. Even so, it was really up to Mia. Because Mia was the one starting things, and because Mia was the one not getting as much out of it. And because it wasn’t like Ellie was choosing to do this with Mia. It wasn’t like it was a conscious decision Ellie was making. It just happened, whenever Mia was nearby.

They kept walking, and Ellie kept thinking. About Mia’s disinterest, and why anyone would just stop having sex.

That was bothering her, because it really didn’t make sense. It wasn’t how people usually were.

She kept thinking, and suddenly realized. Realized something quite awkward, something a bit embarrassing that she’d never had to think about before. About someone else, anyway, rather than herself.

Maybe it was the wrong time of the month for Mia. Maybe Mia didn’t want to because of that.

Ellie tried to decide if she should ask.

It seemed really personal. It seemed far more personal than it would have any other time, because it was about her and Mia having sex. That meant it wasn’t just Ellie asking, offhandedly. Instead, it was a special kind of complicated, horribly personal nosiness.