Next to me | #Wattys2019

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

~Driving. Driving. Driving.

My mind wandering around what could be the next funeral I would attend to. Would they even do a funeral? Do you do a funeral to people who had commited suicide? I really didn't know. But I also didn't want to think about all of that anymore so I just tried keeping my mind empty, blank. The tears filled my eyes and all I could do was sob, yet keeping my mind empty, not my heart, though.

There was one only place where I thought Graham could be, or at least, what was left of him. I drove fearless trying to remember every single street we drove in that one day when we headed to the abandoned amusement park. By the time I reached the place, the tears were so many I couldn't even see well. I wiped them away as I could and entered the park, the sun was starting to hide behind the mountains, the memories of a few months ago returned to my mind. I fought so hard, trying to still keep my mind blank.

His car was there, parked just in front of the park.

"Graham, Graham, where are you?" I yelled all over the place repressing my sobs.

I ran to the ferris wheel with the hope I would find him where we had our first date. The sky was dark by then and my eyes were slowly starting to get used to the dim light. In the middle of the darkness I could see a hint of a glow in one of the wheel's cabinet.

"Graham? Graham is that you?" I managed to scream out loud, just enough for him to hear, "Damn it," I muttered, "I'm climbing up, now..."

Just when I was halfway climbing the ladder I heard a shaky voice, "Don't, Laus, just go away."

My sobs turned out louder, this time they were happy sobs, at least he wasn't dead.

"GRAHAM, oh my god, thank god you didn't do anything stupid, I'm coming," I said while climbing the last steps.

When I entered the cabinet all I could feel was pity, pity for that little figure under a hundred thousand blankets trying to hide beneath them.

"Hey," I kneeled by his side, "I'm here, alright? Everything will be fine."

He looked at me for a second and then hid himself once again under the blankets.

"Where have you been, Graham?" I said while sitting next to him.

"I went to the worst bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again," I grabbed his hand trying to make him feel better but he rejected it and moved asides.

"Did you really want to die?"

"No one commits suicide because they want to die," He cleared.

"Then why do they do it?" I asked.

"Because they want to stop the pain. And I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend."

Here we go again...

"Look Graham... You've been telling me the same thing since, like, the day we met. Did I ever leave you? Nope. That means I do care about you and I do think you are indeed a good friend," I told him trying to make him understand, "So please trust me when I say you're probably the best friend I've ever had."

"Laus, I don't want to live... Now listen, life is lovely, but I can't live it. I can't even explain. I know how silly it sounds... but if you knew how it felt. To be alive, yes, alive, but not be able to live it.. I am like a living stone... Locked outside of all that's real... Laus, do you know of such things, can you hear? I wish, or think I wish, that I were dying of something for then I could be brave, but to be not dying, and yet... watching everyone fit in where I can't, to live but to not reach or to reach wrong... to do it all wrong... believe me, can you?"

"I can't believe you at all, Graham. You do fit in. You don't have any problems..." I said without understanding.

"And I want to tell you about everything but I can't because I couldn't stand for you to have that look on your face all the time, like if I was some sort of phsyco who wants to die. I just need you to look at me and think that I'm normal. I just really need that from you," He finally said.

This time he let me hold his hand. His skin was electric at my touch, yet so warm and inviting. His honey scent filled me from bottom to top as I rested my head on his shoulder. We were here, in the same exact spot, once again, hugging each other as if there was no tomorrow.

For Graham, actually, he could have had no tomorrow... Thank god he didn't try anything...

"You know, Graham? I am so happy you didn't die," I whispered and hugged him harder.

He groaned, "I am not."

I winced, "Did you really wanted to leave your mom, Ruby and I alone?"

"There are no more options. You want a happy life? Then don't be friends with me."

"But I want to be friends with you. And who knows, maybe more than friends? Maybe Gary will finally end up with Lucy?" I let out with a shrug.

Suddenly, he caught me offguard, his hands caught me gently behind the neck and he pressed his lips to mine, softly but firmly. I closed my eyes and melted as my whole body was consumed in that kiss. Chills ran over my skin, and fire burnt inside me. His body pressed closer to mine while I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips were warmer and softer than anything I could have imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. His warm honey taste was still the same as I remembered. It was then when I realised I actually had missed this... I missed his touch, his sweet words, his weird speeches... but on top of that, I missed his kisses.

Then I remembered how at the end of the letter he wrote he said he loved me, love, not so many letters yet so much meaning. I wondered if he really did, love me, I mean...

"I read your letter," I told him, "Did you really mean what you said?"

"Yes," He whispered.

"I love you too."

And I kissed him again.

Author's Note

You guys always want the happy ending.
WARNING:
THIS IS NOT THE END. There are a lot of chapters left :):):)

SEE YOU SOON

LOVE YA

VOTE

COMMENT