Chim-This isn't everything you are

Chapter 44

Kimberleys POV:

“Okay” I breathe.

I know Cheryls got a good heart and she is solely doing this for me. In fact I reckon shes doing this for us. I am scared which is kind of why I turned her down at first because dying seemed the easy option.

“What?!” Cheryl said asking for confirmation.

“If you promise you have no doubts about this and you are 110% fine with this…ill let you do it.”

I heard everyone release a big breathe of air.

“I have never been so sure Kim thank you! We can do this baby” she starts to cry and so do i.

“Kim you’ve made the right decision.” Nic said hugging me.

I look at Joan who has gone white. I understand, at the end of the day her daughter has put her life on the life pretty much

“Joan?” I say but she lowers her head.

I cant imagine what she must be feeling right now.

“Mam, you okay?” Cheryl asks and then she leaves with tears in her eyes.

Cheryl throws me an apologetic look and goes after her mum. I definitely cant do it now. I cant do it to Cheryl and I cant do it to Joan.

“Nic this isn’t right. I cant do it I cant. Not to Cheryl and definitely not to Joan.”

“Kimberley you have to stop thinking about other people for once. This is your life where on about Kim.”

“But I feel like she always has to do something for my benefit. What have I done for her Nic tell me!” I burst out into tears I cant take it all I want is it to be over so I don’t have to go through this.

“You’ve made her life Kim.”

“Yeah a fucking misery.”

“Kim you’ve made her who she is! I knew her before you and do you know what she was like. A wreck. She’d go out and drink herself to oblivion. She wouldn’t eat just to be skinny so she could please the press. She’d be with people management thought would boost her then she met you! She met you and you gave her the strength for her to be herself. You’re the one that told her she was perfect just how she is. If she hadn’t met you she wouldn’t be here! She wouldn’t be here with you or anyone of us that’s why she wants to help you. You saved her life once she wants to do that for you. Why cant you see that!” Nic pulled away from me and slammed the door o the way out

There was only me and my mum left in the room.

“Nic has a point gorgeous. You two have a good relationship because you help each other when times are rough.”

Before I could say anything Chez and Joan walked in.

“Ill be outside.” My mum said kissing my forehead”

“You need to accept this help Kim we cant lose you! Ever!” Joan said holding my hand in hers.

“Has she put you up to this.” I chuckle slightly.

Nics little rant made me realise we do help each other that’s why were perfect for each other. We’d do whatever it takes to make the other one happy.

I stroke the strands of hair out Cheryls face and kiss her.

“Lets do this.”

Joan and Cheryl cheer and both hug me tight.

“Ill go find Nic she left in a hurry what happened?” Joan said getting up.

I told her id explain later and me and Cheryl were alone. I patted the space next to me on my hospital bed for her to come and lay with me. We cuddled together her head resting on my chest whilst my hand soothed over her hair.

“How were you not scared about dying?” I shuffled my body to look at her

 “Because ive had a good life and im grateful for that, some people don’t even get that Chez.” She smiled and resumed the previous position.

“I love you! Were going to have a great future ill make sure of it.”

“No as soon as im better im going to make sure we have a good future. I will get better at this Cheryl I promise.”

“You don’t need to get better you need to stay exactly how you are.”

We hit silence and my tiredness kicks in. before I nod of I kiss her head and entwine our hands.

“I love you too.” I don’t need to look at her to know shes smiling.

Cheryls POV:

I stay awake just listening to Kims heartbeat. Imagining not hearing her heartbeat again killed me. I was scared but knowing at the end of all this Kim will be happy and so will I it doesn’t matter.

I hear the door creak open revealing Nic. I put my finger to my lips to tell her to be quiet.

“Where you go?” I whisper slowly moving myself of the bed and over to a chair next to Nic.

“Just to calm down. I told her about your past before she knew you. Im sorry.”

“You whats.” I was ready to shout but I knew I had to keep my voice down.

“Im sorry I really am Chezza.”

“Well she knows now, how did she react?” I say looking over to make sure she was still asleep.

“She didn’t, I don’t know I ran out didn’t I. she wont care Chez.”

“We will see wont we. I cant believe I could lose her Nic, if something goes wrong that’s it shes gone and I have so much I need to tell her, so much we need to do together.”

“Nothings going to go wrong okay I promise. You will get to spend all your anniversaries together, all the birthdays and Christmas’s.”

“How are you feeling about this. Have you told the girls?”

“No I didn’t even think about them my heads all over the place Chez, im not strong like you and Kimbo.”

“Oi look at me. We will all get through this together, that’s what families for!”

She comes over and sits on my knee, burying her head in the crook of my neck. She soon falls asleep as do I, with a smile on my face at the possiblities of mine and Kims future together.

Kimberleys POV

I wake up after a horrible dream and sit up rubbing my head. Its all forgotten though as soon as I see Cheryl and Nic curled up on a seat together. What was I ever thinking wanting to leave all this behind?

I know ive probably said it loads but whatever happens now im going to live my life. With Cheryl and im going to make her happy. I don’t want to be the same Kim like Chezza said I want to be a better Kimba and im more determined than ever.