Chim-This isn't everything you are

chapter 2

Kimberleys POV:

I had to get out of there I can’t stay here any longer pretending to be happy when actually its tearing me apart. I run straight past the girls and out of the church to the car park. Who was she trying to convince anyway that this is what she wants? Her or me? I couldn’t tell her what im feeling especially not today. How could I? what sort of friend would that make me? A crap one for a start.

 “KIMBERLEY! WAIT UP!” I turned around knowing it was ok because it wasn’t cheryls voice.

 “Kim whats going off you need to be in there shes walking down the aisle in 5? Wait, why are your eyes puffy? You are happy for her right?”

 I look at her and plaster a fake smile on my face. I was getting used to doing that lately.

 “Course im happy for her Nic! Its her life.” It came out more confidently than I thought it would.

 “Come on then lets go back in.” she whined and before I knew it I was being dragged back in.

 I couldn’t really refuse without them getting suspicious there was something I was hiding. I entered back into the waiting area and stood with the girls. Nadine put her arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer into her and carried on talking.

I looked around for Chez only to be caught by her big chocolate brown eyes. We stared intensely and a small smile creeped upon her face. I gave her a sad smile and turned back around.

 “Look at the time everyone go get in your seats!” im sure Nicola was more excited than anyone about today. She moved us all in and we sat down and waited.

 “ You alright Kimberley? You aren’t yourself today.” I turned to meet Nads worried face.

 “what if I lose her Nads. To him of all people.” It came out in a whisper, so quiet I was surprised she heard me.

 “Babe, I know you and chez alright, that’s not going to happen at all! Nothings going to change.” She tried reassuring me in her sweetest voice but I couldnt believe it. A seed of doubt planted in the back of my mind how I thought things would turn out after today and i couldn’t shift it.

Cheryl POV:

Seeing Kim come back made me happy but she still looked down. I’ve NEVER once lied to kimba ever but I was doing it now. I told her I wanted this when in actual fact I don’t think I want this or am ready for this. But everyone is here to witness the beginning of my life with Ash.

 “Come on then Cheryl.” Me Mam smiled at me and linked me arm.

 Then it came to me I cant do this. To myself or to Ashley or the hundreds of other people here. Im not happy and me vows mean more to me than anything. There not something I can just think well if I feel differently later, it doesn’t matter.

 “I cant go through with this Mam. I don’t want to marry him im not happy and im not excited about this. Im empty and that’s not normal is it?” I cried ruining my make up due to just how much my tears were rolling down my face.

 “Come here angel.” She smiled pulling me into a hug. “ you don’t have to do this if your not ready. its your choice no one else’s and all people want for you Cheryl is for you to be happy. Is this definitely what you don’t want?”

 This is why I love me Mam shes so understanding and helpful and im so grateful to have her in me life and one of the most important people to me.

“No I don’t want it anymore. Im not sure if I ever really wanted it at all.” And with that she was out of the room.