Forbidden love [GirlxGirl]

Chapter 8

Tyler's pov

Pain.

Hurt. 

I have had a lot of pain in my life. I have been hurt quite a few times. For example, when I was three years old and the neighbors dog bit me in my leg. When I had to go to preschool and mom left me there. When I had play alone in the breaks at elementary school. When I got bullied at middle school and got beaten up at least once a week. But what had hurt me the most was an event that happened at the beginning of my senior year in high school. After three years I had finally the courage to tell my parents that I was gay and they abandoned me as their child. They kicked me out of their house and I wasn't welcome there, anymore. I haven't seen them since.

On the other side, I have also hurt people. I hurt my mom when I had to make my way out of her vagina to get born. I hurt my dad when I ,accidentally, threw a football in his nuts-- probably the reason why I'm an only child. I hurt myself by hiding in the closet. I have hurt a bunch of girls by leaving them, immediately after we had sex. I have hurt my ex-girlfriend by forgetting her birthday and cheating on her countless times.

But I have never felt the pain or see the hurt like Rebecca had in her eyes right now. There was a mix of anger, confusion and sadness. Her bright blue eyes were now a much darker shade.

And I? I feel guilty. I felt worse than all the times I had cheated, although Becca and I aren't a relationship. Why? Because, in the short time that I have known her, I had already fallen for her. But that couldn't be it, could it? I had never fallen for girl before. I always just had sex, maybe a short relationship, but this, this was different.

"Urm" I looked at the girl beneath me "Maybe it's time to go?"

She put on her clothes as fast as she possibly could and basically ran out of the apartment. Good thing I had already satisfied... Sasha? Sarah? Maybe Sophia? Well, her. Good thing I already satisfied her.

"Becca---"

"Save it, Tyler, save it." She interrupted me "You know, I felt so perfectly fine today. And the fact that I was around people from my community wasn't the reason. You know what the reason was? You were the reason. I felt something when you kissed me, Tyler. It was something I have never felt before. It was a feeling I never even thought existed. And you were the one to make me feel that way. Although I have never even known that I, as a girl, could feel that way about another girl. Or even a boy. I was confused about it, I still am but you know what's even worst, Tyler? It's even worse that you just made me feel the exact opposite. I have known you for a little while now and the way you treat people sometimes is disgusting."

Okay I guess I the words Becca just spoke made me understand the hurt and pain her eyes, because I feel exactly the same right now. Did I really treat people in a disgusting way?

"Becca, I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you, not at all."

"Save it. It's not like we had something going on here, have we?" She picked up her blanket and turned around.

"What are you doing?"

"I" she looked at me with pure pain in here eyes "am going to sleep. On the couch. And we're going to buy you a bed tomorrow because I'll never sleep in the same bed as you again."

"You're not throwing me out?" I asked, completely surprised.

"No" Becca shook her head "You might make fun of the way I was raised but at least I know how to keep my promise and help others."

***

"You did what?" Julia looked at me in shock after I told her the whole story "Damn Tyler. You like this girl to much to do this."

"It's not like we were in a relationship." I sipped from my coffee as we were sitting in our college cafeteria "I don't like like her, you know?"

"Oh honey, yes you do and you know it ,Tyler, you know that you've fallen for her."

I rubbed my fore-head "Okay, I'll admit she is the kind of girl that makes my heart beat faster and makes butterflies fly around in my stomach---"

"Oh my god, is this real? Am I hearing Tyler Elisa Murphy talking about actually being in love? I have to call the news papers. New york times, USA today, Washington post--- Which one will get the honor of publishing it first?" I hadn't even noticed Romeo seated himself next to Julia.

"Babe, we're kinda in the middle of something?"

"Whatever" Romeo pecked Julia's lips and winked at me "Go get that girl ,Ty, go get her."

"So you really like her?" Julia asked, again "I have to hear you say it."

"Okay yes I, Tyler, really like Rebecca."

"Thank god, you have feelings."

"I might go to heaven now." I grinned

"Oh honey, oh sweetie, no." Julia said with fake pity in her eyes.

"Let's just hope it's one big gay pride in hell then."

"But do you think Becca likes you, too? I mean, she kissed you back both times." She referred to the topic we talked about earlier.

"She does like me" I suddenly smiled as I remembered what she said last night "She said that she felt something when she kissed me. Something she never felt before."

"But you screwed up."

"But I screwed up." I sighed as I swallowed the last bit of my coffee.