I like to complain, a lot. So much, in fact, that if I got a euro for every time I ranted about something, I'd have enough money to go on a cruise, at least twice a year. Salty is my middle name, so if your food is ever lacking that sodium chloride...
Most people haven't heard this song, as it's for a musical, but it's strange how that is, since they live and die by these words. Kind of like how you have those teenage sk8ter dudes yelling "YOLO!" every time they do something stupid on their skateboard and end up in the hospital.
Anything you can do, I can do better! Is like a personal mantra people are taught so they can constantly one-up the another person. To put this into perspective, I'll give you three examples:
Example one:
Person B: "What did you do over the summer holidays?"
Person A: "Oh, well, I went on a cruise around the Mediterranean Sea with my fam—"
Person B: *internally* Everything you can do, I can do better!!! Everything you can do, I can do better!!! Everything you can do, I can do better!!!
Person B: "Hahaha, that's so lame. I went on a cruise around the world last year with my school, family, extended relatives, and the alien that lives in my attic—we stopped by the United States, Antartica, Africa, Australia, Russia, Santa's workshop, and even got to do some spear-fishing with the natives of Atlantis! Man I had so much fun, a lot more fun than you probably did on your cruise..."
Example two:
Person A: "Oh my God! I got an B on my math test! I'm so happy, especially sin—"
Person B:*internally*Everything you can do, I can do better!!! Everything you can do, I can do better!!! Everything you can do, I can do better!!!
Person B: "Hahaha what a loser! Only a B? Damn, how dare you even return home after that massive dissappointement? I got an A triple plus with four gold stars and next Friday off because I'm such a fucking math geek! Hahahah I'm such an asshole."
Example three:
Person A: "Samantha, did I tell you about what happened Friday night? No? Okay, I should totally tell you. It all began when—"
Person B: *internally*Everything you can do, I can do better!!! Everything you can do, I can do better!!! Everything you can do, I can do better!!!
Person B: "Shut the fuck up Jessie, I can tell the story better than you can? We all know that you're suffering from premature Alzhemier's, so it's best if I tell Samantha the story. Gosh, you're such a waste of space, why don't you go play with your Barbie dolls or something?"
Me @ Person B:
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I used to know someone who was like Person B back in high school and the worst part of it all is that you're not even aware that a person is like that unless you spend some time with them. Because at a first glance, they seem to be very out-going, extroverted, friendly people—it's only once you hang out with them a couple of times that you come to realise that they aren't as pleasant as you thought they'd be.
This person was your typical over-achiever—you know, one of those people that will go well beyond the required expectations for everything, often unnecessarily. So, like, if you're asked to write a paragaph on a topic, they'd write you a full-blown essay complete with a Bibliography and footnotes, an interview with a motivational speaker, and images taken by themselves, just cause they have no life—and they always had to rub it in your face, one way or another.
I couldn't talk about my own experiences without getting constantly interrupted and shushed with their own better, more enjoyable one (often made-up, because shit started not to be consistent), so it soon got to the point where I was like "Fuck this bitch!" and started gravitating away.
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This person ended up spending time with like two other people I knew (saints, if you ask me) who just tolerated their BS because they had no one else to hang with.
As Person A, I know how hard it can be to take that shit with a smile on your face. Often, you may feel a little jealous of the other person's achievements, but in all honesty don't. Be proud of your own achievements and know when to hit the accelator or brakes. Don't think that you have to give your 110% in everything—it's okay to give your 100% or even 60%, depending on the situation. You're only human, not Wall-E. If you're around someone like Person B, sometimes just think about it this way—their self-esteem is probably underground so they constantly need to feel the need to prove that they're worthy of your presence.
Other times, they're just narcissistic assholes. One day, they may end up like Narcissus—floating face-down on the lake because they were too busy gawking at their reflection.
If you're like Person B and constantly feel the need to one-up others in anything and everything, you need to fucking chill. It's not funny, cute, or whatever, it's just super annoying and you'll lose all your friends.
Open your ears and close your fucking mouth. You can learn something useful that way.
-:-
Special mention to ughhwhy, for suggesting that I rant about this! Stay salty 💕🍔
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Is there something that you're itching to complain about, but have the good sense not to do so on a public forum? I can do it for you! Feel free to PM me with the topic you want me to rant about, and I won't think twice before adding it here. I'll be waiting!
