Holding On (COMPLETED)

Chapter twelve

My head hurts and my mouth is dry, my minds wants to regret drinking so much but my body remembers everything and it feels way too good. I open my eyes and see beautiful green eyes staring back at me.
"Hey" he smiles.
"Hey" I smile back.
"How do you feel?"
"You tell me" I reply rolling on top of the love of my life.
"Hmm mighty fine" he chuckles.
"I missed you" I whisper.
"I never left baby"
"Doesn't matter, I couldn't see you" I shrug.
"I can't believe you got me drunk" Coop shakes his head at me.
"Oh lover, I can show you all the ways I could be a bad influence on you if you like?" I tease.
"I would like, I've never had so much fun" he tells me.
"Me either, well until we weren't alone anyway. The tension between the three of us can suck the fun out of anything"
"Speaking of, Cole keeps referring to plans you both have tomorrow night?" Coop asks overly casual.
"Just at the bar, I'm introducing him to the rest of our friends. Mostly the girls. I thought he might like to watch you play" I tell him, I'd hate him to think he's not included.
"I thought maybe you made plans to, you know? What we talked about?" He whispers.
I place my head on his chest and sigh.
"No, I have made no such plans. If I do it and that's a big if, it will be spontaneous so just remember you asked for it and it's for your benefit because it may be in front of you. Still want to go ahead with it?" I ask.
"It is what it is" he sighs.
"I wish it wasn't"
"Me too baby" he soothes rubbing my back.
"Okay time to get up, I need some painkillers and coffee, lots of coffee"
"I warned against that second bottle of wine baby, you promised it would make you fun. Does it feel fun now?" Coop laughs.
"Was I right? I'm not sure I can look at the coffee table the same way again" I smile down at him.
"You were very fun baby, thank you for a wonderful night"
"My pleasure" I whisper and kiss his earlobe. It definitely was.

"Well well, if it isn't Mr and Mrs Pisshead. How do we feel this evening?" Cole asks from the couch.
"Thirsty" I grumble.
"Really? I thought you would have drunk enough last night or this morning I should say" he is enjoying this.
"Sorry about the show man" Coop says headed for the coffee pot.
"We didn't think you would be up yet" I add.
"Obviously"
I follow Coop into the kitchen and find the aspirin.
"You gonna be okay for work tonight? You can always stay here, take it easy" Coop comes and holds me from behind, resting his chin on my head.
"I'm a big girl, I have plenty of experience working with a hangover. Fuck this past month I got plenty experience working while drunk. It was easy til someone came in and moved all the letters on the keyboard, some of my files were quite interesting to read" I joke.
"Baby not funny. How did you get to work and back? because I know you didn't ask me for a lift" oh still too soon to joke.
"In my car, that thing practically drives itself. I press a button to park and it beeps like crazy if I get too close to anything"
"Isabel you could have killed yourself" he groans.
"I think that was the plan" I whisper.
He groans and holds me tighter.
"I never wanted to die, but I thought it would be nice to just be gone a few times. You know if I drive just a little faster or if I take just a few more pills maybe I won't need to wake up tomorrow and I won't need to feel this" I say quietly to the coffee pot.
I have never told him just how much pain I was in. Maybe talking to him can help us move on.
"It hurt Coop, everything hurt so bad" I whisper.
"I know baby, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could take it all away from you" he kisses my hair and he releases a shaky breath.
"You are Chuck, every kiss and every touch you give me heals me a little bit more. Every time you make me laugh I forget how sad I was and when you love me I don't remember that I was ever alone. Last night was like ten years of therapy for me. I just need you, I need us and I know one day it will just seem like a bad dream" I spin in his arms and hold him tight.
"Thank you for letting me in, I know you think not telling me is protecting me but baby it hurts more than your words. You can tell me anything, everything. I wasn't there and I should of been, I don't know what she did to you and it kills me baby"
"I'm working on it, I need your patience" I kiss his jaw.
"No rush baby, you know I'm a patient man" he kisses my lips.
"So yeah, I'm good for work tonight" I smile trying to shake off the sadness and finally take a giant mouthful of coffee.
"Good, we will be busy tonight and I may need you behind the bar" Coop grabs his own mug and we make our way out to the lounge.
"I thought I wouldn't be making drinks for another month?" I giggle.
"I'm thinking I'll put you on shots, you like flirting with the girls and they definitely like you in return" he teases.
"Oh that sounds fun! Jace won't be happy, that's his job" I say
"Well then he should do it better, you beat him fair and square" he says sipping his coffee.
"What have I missed?" Cole asks looking between us like he's watching a tennis match.
"Beth told Jace about the time when I... you know tried out for the other team" I tell Cole and he groans.
"Yeah and?" He asks.
"You knew? Was I the last to know about that?" Coop grumbles. "Izzy here beat the ultimate ladies man at his own game, pulled in a little hottie while Jace struggled with his cougar" Coop shakes his head then laughs making me blush.
"So now I get his job tonight pouring shot for the ladies" I sing.
"How much do you fucking love your job man?" Cole bumps his elbow with Coops.
"A lot" Coops smile is big and beautiful.
"We were talking about kissing once, that was the only experience I had to contribute to the conversation" I shrug explaining myself for Coop's earlier question.
"You have verbal diarrhoea around this guy, I have to work for the smallest details on anything" Coop grumbles.
"No you don't, Coop I tell you everything" I say defensive.
"He knew you were a virgin" he snaps then frowns catching up to his words.
"Coop..." I hesitate. "If I told you, I would of had to admit why. I wasn't ready to see the truth"
"Man, you didn't know?" Cole gasps.
"Not til she wasn't" Coop says quietly not wanting to talk about this in front of Cole, he brought it up so he can deal.
"Bet that was a nice surprise" Cole smirks.
Coop hides his smile well but he forgets I can feel his emotions. It was a very nice surprise.
"Okay so all conversations regarding my hymen are officially off limits" I say bright red.
"Don't be a prude honey" Cole laughs at my embarrassment.
"What's with the bear?" Coop asks Cole, I sigh.
I told him he didn't want to know.
"It's a long story" Cole looks at me.
"I've got time" Coop insists.
"I was on a date with this really cute brunette at one of those pop up carnivals and I saw this bear hanging on the wall where you had to shoot balloons til you got the right number, well I remembered talking with Iz about getting her a teddy bear because she was always alone at night. I needed this bear. I played this stupid game for over an hour and the thing cost me more than a hundred bucks but I finally got it. My date was not impressed at the lack of attention but that changed when she saw what I won, instantly thinking it was for her. Anyway she kisses me, it's our first kiss and it's one of those kisses where your head spins and you stop thinking and it lasts forever and you know you're gonna score. Like I said I stopped thinking but my mouth had something to say anyway" he shrugs leaving it there.
"What did you say?" Coop asks but I can tell he's already guessed.
"I told you I would get you one Iz" he sighs. "My eyes were still closed and I didn't see her Coke til it was too late and I was covered in it, I didn't know what I had done wrong til I called out Izzy wait as she walked away. Needless to say I didn't score"
"Wasn't that long" Coop mutters walking back to the kitchen.
I look at Cole, I couldn't see his face the first time I heard that story and I couldn't see the frustration and desire in his eyes. It seemed a little funny then, it's not funny now.
"You don't need to say it" he mumbles looking at my face.
"It's bigger than I thought" I smirk, my plan works he smiles.
"I get that lot" he shakes his head "We were both single man, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong letting myself fall for her" he tells Coop as he comes back in with more coffee.
"I know" he taps Cole's leg as he takes his place between us again.
"I'm going to run a bath and soak before work, I'm a little sore after last night" I kiss Coop on the cheek and he nearly chokes on his coffee.
"Thought that conversation was off limits" Cole says surprised.
"Huh? Oh god, that's not what I meant! I was talking about dancing" I hide my face in Coop's shoulder.
"Okay baby, my offer's still good" he kisses the top of my head laughing.
"Don't you dance all the time?" Cole asks not buying it.
"Not like this, she decided to have another go at ballet" Coop answers for me.
"You do ballet?" He asks surprised.
"Well well, there is something you didn't tell him. She was set to be Prima ballerina before she stopped" Coop smirks.
"Show me" Cole breathes.
"Not today Bug" I shake my head.
"Why not?" He pouts.
"I only dance for one man and it's not you, sorry" I stand.
"Cooper gets everything" he grumbles not happy to be told no.
"It's not me either man, don't push her" Coops tells him getting agitated.
"Her dad?" He asks quietly as I leave for the basement.
"Yep" Coop sighs.