After that i really started my bad addicition.
I did it more and more.. days after days.. and then i stopped for a few days and it started again.
In class i really didnt feel comfortable, because of 1 girl.. She was really something.
And i dont know it get to me so bad.. because really she is just a meaningless cunt nugget.
But it really got me, they way she would look at me , with those judging eyes. She was/is best friends with someone who used to be my friend.. but she back stapped me a little to much...
They would talk about how hyperactive i could be, how much snaps i send ( aka snapchat addicted). And those things really got to me.
So i changed in hope i would do it right.
A random thursday night i decided to cave in my addiciton.... my upperarms were a mess.. i still have those scares to prove..
The next friday i went to my bestfriend , she also came..( the back stabbing bitch)
In my good seeing heart i told her what i did and even showed her... biggest mistake of my entire life let me tell you that.
But she made a promis.. "i wont tell anyone, i also did it on my hips".. Lying ass whore.. it is something i will never forgive her.. like legit NEVER..
But okay the weekend came.. in my head i was like why did i told her she never keeps her mouth shut. she always need to talk shit to other people. But no i thought.. "mabey she this time i can trust her, mabey this time i wont regret it".
Well i did..
The next monday.. my bestfriend told me that she heard the back tabbing bitch with the meaningless cunt nugget ( i am really funny ) , she told me "she told her , they were saying things like.. attention seeking, and shit" , i am not gonna lie when i tell you .. i wanted to get up in class and throw a chair and a table at her head.
After class was over i went to the toilet with my best friend. I just really broke down , i never cried at school except at that moment.. i dont believe i ever cried so much about something like this.
I stopped hanging out with the back stabbing bitch and just went a long with my life. I never really got over it though.. the times i said that i would just act normal to her... no whenever i see her i just turn into this fake ass bitch.. Not exaggerated... and somewhere i wanna forgive her for what she did but the truth is i cant.. and i dont have the energy to think about it.
And know i still see her sometimes when i am at my best friends house... we have a laugh but it wont go further than that. She really hurted me and i dont think i will ever get over that.
And this happend 2 whole years ago.. and the cuts she made are still bleeding.. the wounds are still open. When they are close to healing.. she just shows up again and all my hatred towards her comes back.
So i am sorry if you read this and you know it is about you .. should have thought about it before you did it. It is not completely your fault.. it is also my mistake to trust you.. So dont come to me anymore, i will try and act normal with you but it will never be the same again... never...
