Reconciliation for a Dead Man

I toss and turn,

I lay down sore and sick,

The voices in my head scream,

The more I resist,

The louder they get.

I'm a prisoner to myself,

This war I waged on myself,

Is ripping out my heart,

It's time to get you some,

Because it's all that I have done.

It's your nightmare,

It's your time,

I walked away too long ago,

I'm sorry for the demon I have become.

I apologise for the cruel things I have done,

You don't deserve this,

You were perfect but I was not,

Do you forgive me if I told you that I cared?

Please forgive me for laughing when you fall,

I'm so sorry,

I never meant it at all,

So just leave me in this hell.

I sit here on my own,

A broken heart in my hands,

I feel no pity for myself,

I sit here like clock work,

A thousand tears I have cried before,

But now that she is gone,

I can't move on.

Don't wait for me,

I'll be there soon enough,

It's just another excuse for not caring,

Find your own way home.

The memories are shadows behind me,

I can't seem to find my own way home,

But heavens trying everything to keep me out,

A million stories that made up broken dreams.

Your heaven's trying everything to keep me out,

You want me to let you be free,

Because it's almost like,

You are trying to break me down.

I should be sorry for the cruel things that I have done,

Just turn your back and make things easy on yourself,

Please forgive me if I told you I cared,

I am sorry for the things I have done.

Just leave me and let me be free,

Just pretend that none of this is real,

I have a motive,

Let's bring this to a tragic end,

It's time to go home.